Cat feathers
by paintedblindly
Summary: Kyo has always ignored his past and avoided thoughts of his future, but when a new relationship with Haru develops, he's going to have to face his demons, both past and future. HaruKyo
1. Prolouge

**Warnings: This is yaoi/ slash, (as in two males involved in a romantic situation) **

**References to ****child abuse, violence, possible sexual abuse**. **S****exual content, mind the rating.** **Language.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fruits Basket, nor its characters, setting, etc.

Now edited.

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Prologue

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The night was remarkably quiet. The sound of dry leaves moving, rustling, could be heard in the distance, and perhaps the faint, nearly noiseless rush of traffic somewhere further away. Isolated from the other houses, the Sohma residence slumbered silently under the night sky. Heavy clouds gathered on the horizon, lending the air a certain amount of electricity, a prelude for the coming storm.

Atop the slated rooftop, the slim figure of a boy could be seen, his shock of orange hair visible even in the dark.

Kyo Sohma was unable to sleep. It was well past midnight, and the stars gleamed brilliantly above him, their light louder, perhaps, than his breathing. The storm clouds were slowly encroaching upon the clear sky, obscuring stars as they roiled closer. But the wet warning of the night air wasn't enough to deter the cat from enjoying the peace and quiet. Up here, he thought, the world was quiet enough to hear his own thoughts.

His relentless insomnia had driven him outside at this early hour. He usually avoided the roof at night-the darkness outside often allowed his darker thoughts more freedom-but tonight something had drawn him outside. Inside, he had been alternately too hot or too cold, his sheets scratchy and tangled and humid, the rattle of the house loud to his fevered ears. It had been the same for the past three nights. Chills, fevers, nausea, nightmares-the roof had been his final refuge.

It was a strange picture Kyo painted, lying coolly under the dark sky, body relaxed and eyes half closed. His brightly colored hair seemed dimmer in the darkness and the usual passion that animated his face during the day was long gone. In its place was a weariness that looked a little like despair, and the eyes that looked so alive during the day appeared to be wet with something like tears. His fatigued mind kept dragging him down memory lane, and his memories were rarely the good kind. External conflict he could handle with his brash impulsiveness and anger, but his inner conflicts were the things that haunted his restless, half-asleep hours. Kyo closed his eyes fitfully, tucking his face into one arm.

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, unconsciousness pulled his swirling thoughts to a halt and the cat slept, the stars vanishing, one by one, as morning crept up behind the clouds.

Kyo woke to nothing, an abrupt surfacing form whatever bleak dreams he had been experiencing. For a moment, his heart seized, his surroundings unrecognizable and alien. His tired mind finally registered his position on the roof, and finally, his breathing gentled.

The morning hours were colder than he had thought they would be. Kyo could feel the wet of cool dew seeping into his skin and hair and through his light clothes. He was stiff; his back and shoulders already aching painfully and his arms numbly asleep. Groaning softly, he unhooked his arms from behind his head and propped himself up on an elbow.

He should go downstairs, he thought wearily, but somehow he couldn't summon the energy to do so. Even after sleeping a little Kyo felt exhausted, and the sallow cast of his skin and the his aching muscles only attested to the fact. He supposed a few hours of sleep couldn't make up for the past three hellish nights-but it should have helped a little, right?

Slipping silently into his room, Kyo tiredly surveyed the disaster area. His bedsheets were strewn across his floor, accompanied by several items of clothing, a pair of shoes, and miscellaneous artifacts, some whole and some broken. He need a shower. Ignoring the chaos of his room, Kyo gathered a clean set of clothes and his towel and entered the hallway, gently nudging his door shut. Hopefully, it was too early for the rat to be showering-

The house was cautiously stirring, and Kyo paused at the entrance of the bathroom, taking in the quiet noises that occurred in a house not yet awake. Only the creak of his footsteps and his snotty breathing registered loudly. He spared a tired grin as he entered the bathroom; Yuki would be pissed, he thought, because the rat hated showering in the humidity left by someone else's hot shower. Kyo hastily dumped his clothes on the closed lid of the laundry hamper and proceeded to brush his teeth. The mint tasted sharp in his mouth and helped wake him up a little more.

The hiss of hot water was soothing to his exhausted nerves. As he undressed and stepped into the shower, Kyo told himself that everything was perfectly fine. Skirting around the usual array of painful bruises coloring his skin, the cat perfunctorily scrubbed himself down. The heat of the water caused his old scars to prickle unpleasantly, but at least it helped relax his sore muscles. Sleeping on a hard surface hadn't helped his bruises or his training-induced soreness. Not that all the practice in the world would help him beat Yuki, Kyo thought bitterly-or sleep more, for that matter. Despite the physical feeling of exhaustion, his mind refused to drift into sleep until the very early hours of morning. He was barely getting two of hours of sleep each night. He was dead tired. God, his whole body ached, he was so tired.

Turning the shower off and hurriedly drying himself in the now steamy bathroom, Kyo hesitated before the mirror. He looked worse than ever, he decided, with purpling shadows under his eyes and skin that looked pale enough to be sickly. A heavy arc of a bruise colored his left side, the dark beginning at his hip and reaching above his ribcage from where he had crashed into a fence after being thrown by one of Yuki's forceful punches. Other, less vicious bruises lay scattered across his body, from fighting, practicing, or his own clumsiness. He touched one that lay near his hipbone, wincing at the sudden pain his movements caused. It would fade in a few days, he thought, but by then he would have new bruises to worry over.

He pulled on his clean clothes, carelessly leaving the damp clothes in the hamper. As he cracked the door open he took a deep breath, thankful for the cooler air he found outside.

Kyo threw the door open, stepped out into the hallway, and instantly came face to face with Yuki, their noses mere inches apart.

Yuki—first thing in the morning. Not a good situation.

"Fuck." Kyo held himself completely still. His mind went blank. Shit. Shit. He wrenched himself away from Yuki, his reflexes slower due to the lack of sleep. An angry noise of irritation came from the rat, and Kyo braced himself for the impact that was sure to come, eyes snapping shut. He was going to be in pain today if Yuki aimed for his torso-especially since he was already bruised.

A moment passed. Nothing happened. Kyo tentatively opened his eyes. Yuki was slowly making his way into the bathroom, eyes still half-closed, mumbling something about stupid cats and wet floors. Kyo breathed in deeply, glad the crisis had been averted. Not that he was one to pass up an opportunity to fight with the rat, but in his current state—even he could admit—he stood even less of a chance at beating Yuki than usual.

He could hear the sounds of someone stirring downstairs, most probably Tohru, but he decided against eating breakfast with everyone else. He was too tired to deal with Tohru's cheerfulness or Shigure's bad humor…and he definitely couldn't deal with the rat. He closed the door behind him as he entered his room, put on his shoes, grabbed his school bag and quietly snuck back up on the roof.

It had started drizzling lightly during his shower. Despite the slick slates and his exhaustion Kyo managed to successfully jump down from the roof without breaking anything. He glanced back at the house, which looked almost forlorn in the grey morning light, and slowly started towards school.

The route to school was a simple one, but Kyo was seriously considering skipping school and going home. The cold and the constant wet were getting to him, his skin felt clammy, his feet felt like lead. His eyes hurt when he closed them, and he could feel the ache in his bones of true weariness. God, he just wanted to sleep. He blinked his eyes open, a strange sort of film covering his vision. His surroundings seemed almost blurry and he could feel the sharp pricks of cold drops of water sliding down his back from his hair.

He tripped, suddenly—his foot caught on a crack, or a root, or maybe he just stumbled from fatigue. A hand caught his forearm, and he staggered instead of falling. He waited for his natural sense of balance to reassert itself, but the world continued to the spin in woozy pendulum movements.

A voice managed to wade through Kyo's disorientation. Sluggishly, he turned his head to look at the one who had caught him. He felt a momentary shock of confusion, because it was Haru holding tightly onto his arm and saying something to him. The stupid cow's expression was quite odd; neither genial nor angry, Haru looked a little worried, his eyebrows furrowed together and his normally placid eyes focused intently on Kyo's face.

Kyo tried to pay attention to whatever the ox was saying, but his head was throbbing and the world was swinging around with even more violence. The raindrops darkened, spread-his vision blacked and the tentative grip he had on consciousness faded. He could feel his pulse thudding loudly in his ears. Kyo caught a last, quick glimpse of Haru's face, staring—concerned—and then his world finally, blissfully went black.


	2. Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

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Kyo blearily opened his eyes. It took him a moment to realize he was lying down. He recognized the pale ceiling above him, the sunlight playing across the familiar walls—he was in his bedroom.

Struggling to make sense of his thoughts, he groggily tried to push himself up into a sitting movement. Cold hands touched his bare skin, no doubt in response to his brief movement-and Kyo abruptly realized his shirt was missing.

He reacted without thinking, snarling and shoving the body close to him as far he as he could in his weakened state and wrenching his body away from those hands, cool and implacable. Kyo's chest constricted and his movements slowed. Breaths coming in short bursts, he frantically struggled to understand his situation. His panicked movements had shorted out his vision, and the hands returned before he could protest, cradling his forearms instead of pushing his down. The fingers weren't actually cold-the clunky, protruding spots of cool were metal-rings?

Metal. And rings meant Haru, right?

Kyo relaxed, his head hitting his pillow as the need to escape left him. His exhaustion, briefly forgotten, suddenly felt overwhelming. Everything hurt, badly. Hands—Haru's hands—pulled warm covers over him. Kyo could feel the sweat at his temples, but oddly enough, his body trembled with chills and he felt grateful for the warmth the quilt provided.

There was a careful touch against his forehead, smoothing his hair back a little, no doubt trying to see if he had a fever. Vaguely wondered what the hell Haru was doing being so gentle with him, Kyo blinked blurry eyes open. The ox's concerned eyes looked back at him, suspiciously close to his own crimson ones, and Kyo resisted the urge to flinch back. Haru's face was set in his usual nonchalant expression, but his hands were still resting on Kyo's arms.

The last time he had been seriously sick-he shied away from those memories, trying his best to focus on Haru's mouth, watching the other boy's chapped lips open and close. There was a strange buzzing in his ears and Kyo's eyes prickled unpleasantly; his brain seemed to have stopped working because he couldn't think of a response to the ox's question.

"Kyo? Are you okay?"

"Kyo?" Haru waited patiently for an answer, still holding onto the warm body of the cat. "Can you hear me?" Maybe Kyo had suddenly gone deaf?

The ox knew the other teen was sick, the shivers and heat from the pale body lying before him testified to the fact. But what really worried the teen was Kyo's unresponsive expression. Even when slightly under weather the cat tended to be loud and angry, frustrated by any sort of weakness. And now the other boy was simply lying there, his usually vibrant eyes weary and somehow vacant.

Something was obviously wrong, Haru thought.

Haru had seen the cat ahead of him, seen the sloped, tired shoulders, the stumble, watched the cat almost fall. He had barely caught the other teen in time-who knows how Kyo might have landed, so close to unconsciousness.

Annoying as it had been to ask for directions, carrying the cat to Shigure's house had been distressingly easy. They were pretty much the same height, he and the cat-the alleged inch Haru had over the cat was often disputed-but the cat should be much heavier than he was now. He'd carried others before, Yuki, for one, was incredibly heavy due to all that muscle weight-Rin-

Haru shook his head. No use dwelling on old memories, he reminded himself, Rin doesn't want anything to do with you.

Kyo's eyes had closed again, the cat lapsing into unconsciousness without a murmur. Haru pulled the covers a little higher to cover the cat's pale shoulders. His eyes followed the line of Kyo's throat, the pulse evident, to rest on his face. The cat looked exhausted, dark hollows spreading like bruises under long auburn eyelashes.

What was wrong with the cat? Haru scowled. He rarely spent time on his own anxieties-and worrying over that cat, of all people, was not a fear he wanted to add to the list.

Hatori was on his way, thank god. The family doctor had ordered Haru to dry Kyo off, and get the cat into bed no matter how loudly Kyo protested. Disturbingly, there hadn't been any objections—just that one shockingly strong reaction when he'd tried to keep Kyo in bed. It had been strange, mused the ox, that Kyo had reacted so viciously. Haru swallowed and looked at his hands. He never wanted to see such a terrified look on the cat's face again-it had made him uncomfortably angry, for some reason, that the cat should shrink from his touch.

Haru sighed and rolled his shoulders, trying to release some tension. He shouldn't be worrying like this; it wasn't like they were best friends or anything. They were rivals, for heaven's sake. He lounged against a wall and ignored the voice that reminded him, for possibly the thousandth time, that at one time Kyo had been his friend. And their fighting had been the friendly sparring of a couple of untrained boys.

Not just an excuse to remain close to the cat.

Haru stood up, running an agitated hand through his two-toned hair. He wanted Hatori to get here and help Kyo, and then Haru could go and find Shigure. He needed to ask for a place to stay, which had been his original purpose in heading towards the dog's house. Living with Hatori was becoming a little too-

A polite knock startled the ox and he looked up as the doctor stepped into Kyo's messy room.

The Sohma doctor's visible eyebrow was twitching in irritation, no doubt due to the silly greeting called up to him from Shigure. Hatori glanced quickly at the small form of the cat under the quilts, Haru's gaze followed the doctor's. Kyo had curled up into himself under the covers, and only the occasional shiver and the mop of bright hair peeking out gave away the boy hiding under the quilts.

Hatori's cold eyes came to meet Haru's. The ox tried his best to look unworried.

"Haru? You said Kyo was sick. Did you get him out of his wet clothes?"

Haru actually looked away, trying to control the embarrassed flush that wanted to color his cheeks. The struggle to remove Kyo's clothes had been punctuated with much muttering and a red face and too much lingering. "Yeah, but he's still shivering. I had to carry him back…Something's wrong with him."

Hatori's expression didn't really change, but Haru had lived with the man long enough to recognize the sarcastic snort Hatori sounded. Haru looked away; so maybe he was stating the obvious-after all, if the cat was in bed at this time of day and not kicking up a racket over it, something had to be wrong.

The doctor made his way to the cat's side, turning his nose up at the mess. He set his bag to the side, carefully peeling back the covers. "It's just me, Kyo." The doctor's voice was almost gentle, Haru thought. "You're sick, stay still. I'll let you sleep soon."

Before Hatori could fully uncover the very naked cat, Haru decided to escape. No need for the doctor to recognize exactly where Haru's embarrassment was stemming from. "Hatori, I should go talk with Shigure. May I come back up later?"

Hatori nodded, and that eyebrow went up again.

Haru fidgeted under the doctor's knowing gaze, "You know how restless I've been...I wanted to know if I could stay with Shigure. I—uh, need some space. You know, to get away from all of our delightful 'inner' family."

Hatori shrugged, looking unconcerned. "Then leave and go talk to Shigure, but don't come back upstairs."

Well, fine then, Haru thought. The doctor could at least show a little emotion at the thought of his absence-Haru shoved his hands in his pocket and made his escape.

Now. How to ask Shigure for a place to stay without sounding like he was perving on someone.

Tracking down the dog proved easier than he had thought it would be. The lazy man was lounging in the dining area, eating and reading at the same time. Haru settled down beside him.

"Shigure." His usual mask of politeness reasserted itself. "Is there any chance you might house me for a little while? Yuki seems like a different person after moving away from...after moving here."

Shigure's gaze was more assessing than he had expected. The dog abandoned his novel and his chopsticks, folding his hands neatly on the table and leaning forward. The silence stretched-Haru began to sweat.

Suddenly, a sharp smile emerged on Shigure's face. "Still trying to get into Yuki's pants, then?"

Haru fought down the urge to punch the dog in the face-his adoration of Yuki had been purely innocent-and softly said, "Just want to get away from the inner household for a little while."

"I don't think Yuki's changed attitude has that much to do with this house; more to do with a certain someone." Shigure waggled his eyebrows and picked up his book again, "But nonetheless, feel free to stay. Though I doubt you'll be sleeping anywhere near Tohru, after some of the stories I've heard about your black side."

"Yuki-"

"Probably won't want you in his room either...we'll set up a futon in Kyo's room, after Hatori comes back down."

"Yes, sir."

"Well, as long as that's settled, go see how Kyo's doing, will you?-You were holding him awfully carefully when you came into the house this morning." Shigure aimed his smirk at the pages of his book.

Haru scowled. The dog wasn't even looking at him. He rose without thanking Shigure. Fucking dog thought he knew everything about everything, knew exactly what Haru wanted when he-

Haru abruptly sat down on the staircase, shoving his face into his hands, trying to rub some of the tension out of his jaw. Relax, he told himself. He didn't want to go Black the second he received permission to join Shigure's household. Calm. He repeated. Calm. Just wait here, Hatori will come down, Hatori will tell you how Kyo is doing-

Kyo. The sharp twist of worry beneath his sternum was strong, but at least it wasn't anger. Haru exhaled through his fingers, running his hands back into his hair and dropping his head.

Footsteps above him signaled the family doctor's descent and Haru turned slowly. Hatori stilled above him but remained silent.

Haru sighed in irritation, "So, what's wrong with Kyo?"

Hatori voice seemed even more distant to Haru's sensitive ears, "To tell the truth, I'm not quite sure what's wrong with Kyo. It might be the flu, but it could just as easily be exhaustion or stress since his only symptoms are fever and body aches." The doctor sighed, irritation clear, and continued down the stairs, "So, is Shigure allowing you to stay?"

Haru narrowed his eyes, suspicious at the abrupt change in topic. He nodded. "I don't have any of my clothes-"

"I'll bring you some of your clothes and other necessities tomorrow, when I come back to check on Kyo. Tell Shigure I want to talk to him later." And with that unusually terse answer, Hatori purposefully walked out of the house, no doubt eager to get back to his work.

Haru glared after him. He was certain the doctor hadn't told him everything. But what could be so wrong with the cat, that even Hatori was annoyed?


	3. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

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Haru came awake slowly, his mind rising from sleep with little commotion. It was well past midnight, but his stomach was complaining loudly—no doubt, the rumbling sounds were what had roused him.

It was pitch dark in Kyo's room, and the extra futon—grudgingly ceded by a very weak cat-was lumpy and surprisingly cold at the edges. Haru stretched a little, allowing a small smirk to escape as he thought about Kyo's flushed, annoyed face as he had moved in, dragging his backpack in, setting up his futon, and loudly regaling the cat with the fact that Haru had had to carry the cat home, because Kyo had fainted. Of course, Kyo had made the usual protests about his space being contaminated, but a few choice words from Yuki-namely about Haru's Black side and Tohru and the bad combination thereof-had convinced the cat. Kyo had sulkily watching Haru move in from under the weight of several covers, occasional shivering and blowing his nose, and all in all, proving a very distracting sight for Haru.

Haru turned over restlessly, unable to fall back into sleep, as he usually did. Kyo was predictably silent, his body an indistinguishable lump in the darkness of the room. Haru raised his head slightly, tensing as the silence of the room registered. The only sounds were his slight breaths.

He should be hearing Kyo's breathing, right? The cat was sick, so wouldn't his breathing be louder than usual?

Jerking out from under his own sheets, Haru stumbled blindly towards Kyo's bed. Reaching out to find the light switch, light flooded the room, nearly blinding the sleepy teen. Haru took in the empty bed with relief.

"Fuck." He swore quietly. God, he had thought the cat had died or something, smothered under the heavy weight of all those blankets piled untidily on the bed. His heart beat under his ribcage in a staccato rhythm, taking much longer than his head to calm. But Kyo's bed was empty.

Which begged the question, where exactly was the cat?

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"Kyo?" Haru called through the window.

After nearly getting lost in the search, he had located the cat. The other teen was sitting on the roof, apparently fascinated by the dark sky. "Kyo? Why are you up?"

In the bare light of the fading lamps, Kyo looked gaunt enough to sufficiently scare Haru all over again. The ox cursed silently—he didn't like spending a lot of time worrying about others, especially when all he would get in return would be endless teasing if the cat discovered his concern.

"Stupid cat." Haru muttered and ignored the wet rooftop as he sat down near Kyo. His heart was still beating uncomfortably fast, which Haru blamed on the height. "Kyo? Are you listening to me?"

It was...strange to talk to Kyo in such a normal tone. Usually Haru had revved himself up before seeing the cat, letting his alter-ego take over, finding it that much easier to interact with the cat with his aggression as a barrier. Of course, the necessary sacrifice of his anger was the ensuing amnesia, and Haru rarely remembered all of his many encounters with the cat. "How come you're not sleeping?"

Kyo seemed suspicious, looking at the ox out of the corner of his eyes. But his head drooped forward quickly enough, testifying to his exhaustion. The cat curled into himself, resting his forehead on his knees. "Can't sleep." He mumbled crossly, his voice disappearing into his pants.

Haru nodded to himself and reclined next to the cat. "So, are you going to school tomorrow-er, today?" The sun was lining the horizon, and soon enough, the day would really start.

Kyo smirked a little. "Nope," The smirk grew into a sly smile, and Haru felt inexplicably glad to see the cat act normally again, "however, I refuse to stay in this house with that dog all day…I'll end up murdering him."

Grinning back, Haru didn't hesitate to ask, knowing Kyo wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't want someone to come along with him. "So…what are you doing?"

"Well." Kyo paused, lowering his voice as if he was imparting a secret, "There's a shop I want to check out downtown. And-"

Haru interrupted, unable to stop his teasing. "You want to go shopping? Spending a little too much time with Tohru these days?"

"You," Kyo glared, but his smile resurfaced almost immediately, "can shut up. It's actually a pretty cool place; they have these damn old swords. A few were even used at some point, by samurai!"

"Hey, I'm all for playing hooky. Anything's better than class. But...you sure you're feeling up to-I mean," Haru tried for his most nonchalant tone, "you seemed pretty sick last night."

The brightening sky made Kyo's face look less shadowed. That, and Kyo's easy smile helped ease the worry that nagged at the younger teen.

"Fuck you, damn cow. I'll be fine." Kyo jumped to his feet, as if to prove his health. "Let's go now!"

Haru nodded, pushing himself up in time to watch the cat jump gracefully off the roof. Well, at least the stupid cat had regained his sense of balance. Heights made him uncomfortable, but watching Kyo effortlessly navigate the distance made Haru smile a little. Glancing down at the impatient cat, Haru abruptly swallowed…just how far away was the ground?

"Kyo?"

"Yeah, slowpoke?"

"Wait for me to get my jacket."

Kyo groaned good-naturedly, hands in his pockets, "Just hurry up."

Grabbing his jacket was the perfect opportunity to take the normal, sane way outside. Not to mention he should probably grab the already sick cat a jacket as well. Who knew what would happen? The sky looked clear enough, but life had a funny way of throwing the unexpected right in one's path.

Emerging from the house, Haru looked for the other teen. He should have known the cat wouldn't wait around for him. How the hell had Kyo gotten so far ahead of him? Haru set off at a jog, clutching Kyo's jacket a little closer to his body.

He was panting by the time he caught up to the cat. Kyo's only acknowledgement was a slight slower pace-Haru glared at the boy's back. Kyo was the sick one, and here he was, panting just to keep up!

The two teens walked along the sidewalk, the cement dark under their feet from the rainy day before. Though the clouds still strove to cover the sky, glimpses of pale blue could be seen between them. It was too early for much traffic, so the streets were empty and the sounds of the city faint and muted.

Haru pulled his jacket tighter and sighed noisily. Kyo was still ahead of him, and Haru could see the little jerk Kyo made every time Haru sighed. He imagined Kyo rolling his eyes.

Kyo suddenly shivered, nearly stopping at the violence of the movement. His hands came up to rub some heart into his arms.

"You cold?" Haru's grey eyes carefully tracked the goosebumps running up the cat's arms, and a smirk blossomed because Haru had been right, the cat needed his jacket.

Kyo gave an irritable shake, like a cat trying to shiver off water. "Not really—maybe a little. What do you care?"

Haru considered teasing the cat, but figured it was a little cruel. He sighed at a lost chance and threw the bundled-up jacket at Kyo. It hit his head with a dull thump, and Kyo stumbled forward and the jacket ended up on the ground.

Haru winced and looked away innocently. The cat spun around, ready to attack, and caught sight of his jacket. Pausing a moment, Kyo glared at the ox, then picked up his jacket. With muttered thanks, he shrugged it on and continued walking; he pointedly ignored Haru, not even pausing to thank him.

Haru couldn't just let the cat think he was condoning such rude behavior. "So...how long 'till we get there?"

Kyo turned to throw a slight frown at Haru. "We only just started…if you don't want to come, go home."

Haru stared back calmly, feeling oddly warm at the thought of his home being with the cat. "Nah…Shigure would just make me go to school."

They continued on for some time. The amount of cars that passed them increased as they got closer to the busier streets, as did the amount of people walking past them. A few older girls stared at them curiously, and Haru pretended not to notice the way Kyo snorted when a particularly confident girl smiled at them both.

"So…are we closer now?"

Kyo growled.


	4. Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

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It didn't take too long to reach the shop. It was just a tiny little thing, tucked into a corner of a nearly abandoned alleyway. How the cat had found such a place remained a firm mystery in Haru's mind.

Kyo was up at the front of the store, bargaining the price on a certain dagger. Haru felt a faint worry over the thought of Kyo owning a sharp object, the cat was violent enough. Then again, he was pretty sure the store-owner wouldn't sell the knife to a hot-headed teen…there was an age policy, right? Haru hoped so.

The little store was actually a cross between a drugstore and a antique store. There were all sorts of interesting stuff hidden on dusty old shelves and smudged glass displays. Haru wandered among the aisles, studying the jewelry with some interest. Nothing really caught his eyes until he came upon the Celtic necklaces, composed of complicated knots of silver.

Haru browsed carelessly, reading the little labels that explained a certain symbol, his eyes catching on the beautifully welded rings and the round knots of silver that hung from simple cords. One such necklace caught his attention, the little word identifying the symbol as one of a cat. Haru grinned mischievously. Kyo never wore any jewelry, except for his bracelet of beads, but if he bought this necklace for the cat then Haru could—possibly—manipulate the cat into doing so. He grabbed the attention of the shopkeeper, who left a scowling Kyo to come help him.

Three minutes later Haru left the shop, smiling pleasantly and waiting for the cat to emerge. Kyo stalked out, slamming the door behind him and almost running into the ox. "Watch where you're standing!"

Haru mused, with a hidden grin, that if Kyo was an actual cat right now, his ears would be pinned back and he would be hissing, "You're the one who ran into me."

"Hmph. Whatever. Let's go find something to eat."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey…Kyo," Haru reached out and caught the edge of the cats shirt, "I got you something." He pulled the necklace out of his pocket, hiding it in his fist.

"Fuck you, Haru." The cat struggled to get away, "I don't want to fight right now. I want to eat!"

Haru grinned again, which clearly did nothing to reassure Kyo. He let the little Celtic symbol dangle from his hand, "Nah. Wasn't going to punch you. I got you a necklace."

Kyo stopped and stared, his eyes slowly tracking the swinging silver pendent. He blinked slowly, "You got me jewelry." His voice sounded shocked.

Haru nodded. "It's the symbol of a cat, and I thought it was perfect for you…so I got it 'cause I never see you wear anything but those beads around your wrist and it would be pretty cool—"

"Shut up!" Kyo covered Haru's mouth with his hand, stopping the ox's flow of words. He glared suspiciously at the other teen, studying Haru's face. Haru tried his best to look harmless. "Is this a trick to get me to fight you?"

Haru shook his head violently to free his mouth, "Not really. Just thought it suited you. There wasn't really anymore thought to it than that."

The cat was still glaring at him, and Haru held up his hands placatingly, "Promise. I'm 'white', right now. I'm not playing a trick on you. I really just wanted to see you wearing something silver."

There was a small silence and Kyo backed away, his face taking on a mulish look. He couldn't believe the stupid cow had bought him jewelry. "I don't wear jewelry. Necklaces are for girls."

Scoffing, the ox slowly stalked forward, almost chasing the cat, "Right. Which is why I'm wearing about three of them right now?"

"Yeah, well…that's you. I don't wear any jewelry."

Haru suddenly relaxed and looked away as if he couldn't care less, "Fine. I didn't know you were so afraid of wearing jewelry."

There was a quiet hiss, and Haru suppressed the laugh that threatened as Kyo grabbed the necklace from his hand and pulled it over his head. It was just too easy to make the cat angry.

The cat walked away, and Haru hurried to catch up with him, sneaking a glance out of the corner of his eyes. The necklace looked good, against the black of Kyo's shirt, and the red hair was disheveled and messy, softening the cat's angry face. It even-it almost looked like, like the cat was blushing! Chuckling to himself, Haru asked, "So where are we going to eat?"

"How the hell should I know? We'll find someplace."

"Okay."

They continued on their way in silence, but it was a comfortably silence. Neither felt the need to chatter mindlessly, they knew each other better than that; nor did they feel that they should fight, as the slight camaraderie between the two was easier to tolerate for both the cat and ox.

They found a restaurant easily enough. They both sat down, ignoring the dark looks the owner sent them. Haru supposed it was a strange sight, two high school boys, clearly skipping school, one with bright red hair and the other dressed in suede and silver and too many piercings. They ate as quickly as they could, bickering a little over what to get and finally deciding to share a large plate of some sort of fish that Kyo liked. It wasn't half bad, but Haru made the cat promise to let him choose the next time they ate out.

They argued again over the bill, possibly scaring the other patrons out of their wits with their yelling. The issue, however, was quickly resolved when the owner kicked them out and banned them from his restaurant.

Kyo glared at the ox, standing up and brushing his pants off. He snarled, "Stupid cow. Couldn't you let me pay for it? You're the one who actually bought something in that shop-"

"And I told you already you don't need to pay me back!"

"It's not paying you back," Kyo howled, clenching his fists, "It's only fair. I chose the food, so I pay for it."

Haru was slowly getting mad, his anger a dark coil in the pit of his stomach. The cat was looking pale and shaky despite the glaring red eyes, and Haru wanted to stop arguing. He decided that he hated the concern he felt for the cat. "I can pay for my own fucking food."

"Why is this even an issue?" Kyo yelled, resisting the urge to massage the ache in his head with his fingers. He didn't want the other teen to see him in pain.

"We're not friends, damn it, we're rivals. You don't fucking pay for my food." Haru bit out, teeth grinding painfully. Damn the cat, Kyo always found a way to get under his skin.

Kyo's eyes widened for a moment, but his face quickly grew furious, "You're right, what the hell was I thinking?" He turned around and began to walk away, shoulders stiff and straight.

"You're going the wrong way, kitty-cat," Haru no longer cared if the cat was sick or not, and his voice came out taunting and cruel. All he could feel was the dark anger under his skin, the tight frustration in his muscles and the reckless pleasure of not caring.

"I thought we were going to fight, you too scared?"

Kyo snarled and spun around. He drew his fist back and punched Haru, sending the other teen stumbling. Following him, Kyo grabbed the ox's shoulders and slammed him down into the cement. The cat crouched over him, his hand tight around the other's collar, feeling the grate of all that jewelry under his fingers. Haru's hands came up to capture his wrists, bruising him easily. Those hands recalled a moment of gentleness between them, and Kyo snarled, thinking of the idiot he had been, to let Haru so carefully touch his forehead the day before.

Haru stared up at him, his grey eyes dark with anger. Kyo bent his head so that his nose almost touched the other's face and his bangs brushed Haru's two-toned hair— "Leave me alone." Kyo managed to growl, twisting the material tighter in his fist, "Don't talk to me. Don't come near me. Don't pretend to—if you fucking want to fight—you can have the first punch. Got it?"

Kyo unceremoniously let go of Haru's neck, and the ox's head met the cement with a painful thunk. The furious teen rose and stormed away, but not before flinging something sharp in Haru's face.

The cold metal hit his cheek and Haru reflexively cringed away. Loud footsteps slammed away from him and he wondered how he was going to find his way home. Damn.

Haru slowly sat up, wincing at the aches in his body. His eye would most definitely bruise, not to mention his back and his neck. At least Kyo hadn't broken anything.

The cold metal object slid down his cheek to tangle in his many necklaces, resting against his bruised neck. He pulled it out, and felt his throat tighten with something other than rage. The anger slowly faded from his face, and with the last bit of his memories leaving as he returned to his calm persona, he stared at his hand with something close to regret.

It was the necklace he'd given the cat only a few hours ago, dangling from his fist on a broken cord.


	5. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

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Kyo opened the door to the house, grateful that it was much too late for anyone to be awake. Another headache stirred behind his eyes, and the nausea made his mouth taste weird and his gut clench uneasily. It was probably because he'd eaten too much at lunch, because he had ordered his favorite dish and Haru had barely eaten any of it—and he wasn't thinking about the dumb cow again, was he?

He stumbled on the carpet and barely prevented his face from meeting the floor. Kyo stood still, scowling ineffectively at his toes as he tried to get his balance. He had felt better this morning, so why did he feel so-so damn sick now? Shaking his head, he dropped his coat by the door and headed for the stairs, finding his way in the dark by memory.

A warm hand dropped onto his shoulder, halting his progress, and Kyo nearly shouted in fright.

The cat jerked back, panting, staring up at Shigure's face—which was laughing at him, damn the dog!

"What the hell do you want?" Kyo exploded. "Bastard! Don't sneak up on people in the middle of the night!"

Shigure's smile faded but the amusement remained in his friendly eyes, "Don't be so loud. I wouldn't have to sneak around if certain children wouldn't wander outside at terrible times of the night…"

Kyo glared, "I'm not a child!" Looking away, he scuffed his bare toes in the carpet, "What do you care? I'm not doing anything wrong."

The dog shook his head slightly, sighing, "Kyo…at least tell me you ate something today? What will all the girls say if you lose more weight?" A sly grin spread across the dog's open features.

Kyo nodded, "Yeah, I ate." He decided against mentioning his subsequent argument with Haru, or the fact that he had been kicked out of another eating establishment…again. "Did the dumb cow come home?"

"Uh…no. Actually, I thought he was with you…" Shigure paused and stroked his chin with his fingers, assuming an exaggerated thinking pose, "This could prove worrying."

"Worrying?" The cat's voice rose, distressed. "The cow doesn't have a sense of direction! He'll never find his way home, especially in the dark!"

"Kyo, I'm sure he'll be fine. Now you, on the other hand, need your sleep. You have school tomorrow." The dog ruffled Kyo's hair, ignoring the cat's scowl. A second later, he was happily ensconced in his room.

The cat hesitated, glancing unsurely up the stairs. So what if the cow was lost, it wasn't his fault! But Kyo couldn't deny the tight feeling of concern in his chest; and, he rationalized, it wasn't as if he'd be getting any sleep tonight.

The red haired teen grabbed his jacket and stuffed his feet back into his sneakers, quietly slipping out the front door. If Kyo had looked back, he might have caught the dog looking out the window, a pleased smile growing on his face.

Kyo traced their entire route without once catching sight of the damn cow. Turning back, Kyo tried to keep his anxiety under control. It was damn cold outside, Kyo thought. It was always colder at night; and now that autumn was in full swing the nights were as nearly as cold as winter. Even under his jacket Kyo shivered. Crossing his arms over his chest, he huffed out breaths of warm air, watching them crystallize. Damn, where was that cow?

The woods surrounding Shigure's house looked distinctly unwelcoming. The moon was barely showing tonight, and Kyo fervently wished for a flashlight. Kyo tucked his fingers under his armpits and wove his way through trees, eyes flicking suspiciously to take in his surroundings. A lump was growing in his throat, whether from sickness or worry he couldn't tell, but his breaths were coming faster and a root nearly sent him straight to the ground.

A muffled sound drew Kyo's attention and he looked up sharply. A thud and more suspicious sounds, some of which particularly sounded like vulgar curses, made Kyo cautiously move forward. He narrowed his eyes, feeling his blood pounding with a vengeance. He felt disgusted with himself. How had an hour or so of walking left him so winded, so absolutely exhausted? Not to mention cold. He was fucking cold.

Kyo heard the cow's distinctively dirty language and rolled his eyes, shoving past some tree branches. His eyes caught sight of a figure sprawled carelessly on the ground and his breath hitched for a moment in fear.

Haru was sitting on the frozen ground, rubbing his head, an annoyed look on his face. He didn't seem cold or badly hurt though so Kyo breathed a sigh of relief. The memory of their earlier fight came back with a vengeance and his voice was harsher than he intended when he spoke, "Idiot! What the fuck do you think you're doing all the way out here?"

Haru's head snapped up and his eyes grew wide. He slowly got up, carefully brushing his clothes off and then stretched a little, ignoring the cat's words.

"Hey, cow! Don't ignore me! I walked all the way out to the city, came all the way back, and I've been searching—" Kyo clamped his mouth shut.

"You were searching for me?" Haru asked, curiosity curling his mouth into a smile.

Kyo shrugged and stuffed his cold fingers into his pockets, "Well, yeah. I couldn't sleep, and I didn't want your death on my conscience so, uh, here I am. Let's go. I'm freezing." He abruptly turned, a little embarrassed at his own worry.

They walked home in silence, the air between them awkward and strange, a little too obvious in the empty night. Grumbling through his teeth, Kyo kept his pace quick and efficient; he was cold and no matter how relieved he felt inside, he still felt sick. At least his headache had abated-now every step simply reminded him of how tired he was. Kyo just wanted to go home and sleep.

If he could sleep tonight. Perhaps last night had been a fluke-Kyo's foot caught on something and he stumbled forward a bit, reaching out to grab hold of the closest object, his hand curling around a low branch. He stopped moving. Fuck, he was really out of breath.

Behind him, the cow started talking. "Umm…Kyo? Why are we stopping? I don't know the way, so—"

Kyo tried his best to stand upright again, fully intending to tell the cow to shut up, but the world tilted strangely. He looked up, the distant lights slipping and blurring across his vision. It was such an intense feeling of vertigo that he lurched backwards, staggering as he tried to balance himself along an unbalanced world.

"Kyo!" Haru lunged forward, barely managing to keep that cat from falling by grabbing the cat's elbow. A shock of worry and fear snuck into his throat. He pulled the other teen towards him, scared that Kyo would faint, unsure if he could keep him upright only with the other teen's jacket sleeve. "Kyo, fuck, breath!"

Kyo shuddered, eyes tightly closed, breathing through his nose so he wouldn't throw up. He tried to escape Haru's hold on him, but any movement only made his stomach flip painfully. The nausea became too much. He dropped to his knees with a choked sound of misery and started retching.

Haru grabbed for the cat again, wincing at the gagging sounds. He felt helpless in the face of Kyo's sickness. He spread his fingers wider, holding the strong shoulders and feeling the convulsions that gripped the cat's body slow to faint shaking.

"Kyo? You okay?" Haru asked, hesitantly.

Kyo sucked in some air, suddenly grateful for the clean, cold air even if his fingers and ears were numb. His throat burned, as did his eyes, and he knelt on the ground, afraid to try standing up. He breathed out, sounded wet and choked, and pressed his knuckles to his eyes. "Goddamnit," he moaned out, noticing, for the first time, Haru's warm hands on his shoulders. He could only be thankful that the ox wasn't saying anything. He hated that Haru kept seeing him like this, kept finding him at his worst moments.

Haru couldn't see Kyo's face. He didn't want to antagonize the sick cat, so he settled for gently resting a hand across the back of Kyo's neck. The cat's skin was cold. "It's okay. Let's go home and I'll call Hatori."

Kyo struggled away from Haru's hands, lurching upwards and grabbing for support. He leant against the tree, his limbs trembling and his mouth raw and disgusting.

"Do you need me to carry you again?" Haru's tone was teasing, but his hands spoke of sincerity, firm against Kyo's trembling arms. The cat looked terribly sick in the shadows, all ragged breathing and shaking hands and Haru could barely stand watching Kyo look so near collapse, not when Kyo had stood against some of fate's cruelest machinations and said 'fuck it'.

"No." Kyo ground out, his voice rough, "I'm fine." He let go of his support and stubbornly tried to stumble forward. He didn't get far before his legs gave out, which sent him back down to the ground.

"Kyo. Stop being so stubborn." Haru pulled the other teen up, and Kyo grumbled but swung his arm over the ox's shoulders. The cat's body pressed uncomfortably close to Haru's side, and Haru was suddenly reminded of the silver necklace in his pocket, as it pressed into his thigh through his pants. Swallowing the apology that wanted to emerge, Haru supported the cat as they continued towards the house slowly. They were unnervingly close under the silent trees. It was hard to navigate the woods in the dark, and doubly so when they had to walk so carefully. The quiet was interrupted with the occasional remark, as random thoughts meandered through both boys' heads.

"You really carried me home that day?" Kyo still sounded ill, but at least he felt like talking. "Didn't think you had it in you."

"Hey, I'm strong enough to carry you." The indignation felt good to Haru, a much better alternative than his weird, constant concern, "Anyway, you're really light—puny even."

Kyo gave a weak scowl, "I'm not puny. I'm older than you."

"By a year, and I'm taller than you."

"Big fucking deal. It's not even an inch, and I'm still growing."

Haru laughed, mostly from relief because Kyo finally sounded like himself. "Yeah, well, you'll stop growing before I do, old man." Finally, Haru could see Shigure's house ahead. He wanted inside, right now, because it was damned cold and the cat was shaking and he was ready to stop feeling so uncomfortably disturbed every time he heard how raw Kyo's voice sounded.

Kyo stumbled and almost dragged Haru to the ground. The ox grimly bore the weight and eased the front door open with his shoulder. He practically carried the cat up the stairs, depositing a nearly frozen Kyo on the bed.

"Damn idiot, get under the covers."

Kyo twitched feebly but obediently rolled over and pulled his quilts over himself. His drowsiness gave him an excuse to ask a question that had been bothering him for awhile, and he mumbled as he snuggled deeper into his bed, "Are you Black right now?" His eyes fluttered shut.

Haru turned away, "No…" Stopping himself from patting the cat's head, he stalked downstairs and almost broke the phone with his tight grip. Amazingly, he managed to catch the doctor by the third ring. After the usual instructions—keep him warm—and the usual excuses—tending Akito, it's three in the morning, Haru—Haru slowly set the phone back in its cradle. He paused for a moment, thinking. Maybe he could rest, just for a moment-he sat down on downstairs couch, leaning his head back, exhausted by his worry and physical exertion.

Haru didn't even feel himself falling asleep—

—only to wake to the choked sounds of someone retching. Haru shot up, tripping on the carpet and almost breaking his head open on the staircase as he took them two at a time.

Soft echoes of misery could be heard down the hallway, and Haru stiffly made his way to the bathroom, following the noises and already knowing it was Kyo in there throwing up again.

"Kyo?" Haru's voice was hushed, but Kyo felt too sick to even appreciate the quiet tone. His head appreciated it though, the usual throbbing returning to a dull ache. He hunched further over the toilet, shaking and too hot to breathe. His body convulsed again-he couldn't stop the tears this time because it hurt and he couldn't make it stop and he didn't even have anything left to vomit up.

"Hey. Hey, stop that." Haru carefully manhandled Kyo up, pulling him away from the toilet. "C'mon. Just breathe a bit. You're not even throwing anything up." He was shocked to see wetness on Kyo's cheeks, but tactfully didn't mention it, storing away the sympathetic pang his chest gave for later contemplation.

Kyo choked, keeping a hand over his mouth. He kept his eyes closed and managed to swallow heavily a few times and still his cramping stomach. He shakily wiped at his mouth, rough with returning embarrassment and frustration. Opening his eyes, he found the cow's calm eyes staring straight at him. He glared a bit, for good measure, feeling the sharp edge of the sink against his hip and knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to his room without help. The moment held, stretched straining between them. Haru just looked at him calmly, and Kyo turned his resentment on the cold bathroom floor, ashamed and angry and tired.

"Do you need help back?"

"No—" he spat out, shivering again because he had no shirt and the air was cold on his fevered skin. "Damn it, yes. You know I do!"

"Yeah, I know." Haru agreed quietly and slipped an arm around the cat's torso, propping up his weak body. Even with the extra help, Kyo could feel the weakness in his limbs; the absence of control and it annoyed him that his body would betray him like this, in front of Haru, no less.

"Hatori's coming tomorrow. Whatever's wrong with you—he'll be able to fix it, alright." Haru didn't bother to turn on any lights, just carefully guided the cat to the bed by dint of the dim hallway light. He tucked Kyo's covers up to the cat's chin, resisting the urge to touch Kyo's wet lashes. "Want some water?"

"No." Kyo turned his face into the pillow, "Don't know if I can keep it down."

"Okay. Try and sleep. You look terrible"

"Yeah…"

Haru sighed tiredly, brushing his bangs out of his face. He purposely didn't think about the situation as he laid his head on his pillow, didn't think about how he was concerned instead of annoyed, about how scared it made him to see the cat so sick. He should be angry that the cat had woken him, but somehow he was just thankful that Kyo hadn't collapsed in the hallway or something. Things really shouldn't be so—

Kyo stirred a bit and rolled over so he could vaguely make out Haru in the darkness. "Haru?" His voice sounded small and hoarse in the silent room, "Thanks."

Haru hesitated, eyes wide in the shadows. He could pretend to be asleep…or he could acknowledge that he…that he…maybe he cared…just a little.

"Go to sleep, Kyo." He finally said and closed his own eyes.


	6. Chapter 5

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Chapter 5

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Hatori knocked on the door rapidly, mentally sighing when it didn't open immediately. Blowing out warm air, the Sohma doctor frowned when he caught sight of the mist his breath produced. It was almost winter, he noted; and soon it would be cold enough for the snow to fall. And with the snow, a return of too many painful memories.

He shook his head and knocked again. It was much too early to be feeling maudlin.

Yuki opened the door, the usual polite look on his face. Hatori cleared his throat, and the teen stopped smiling, surprise clouding his face.

"Hatori?" His grey eyes suddenly narrowed, "I just had my check-up last week…are you here to see Shigure?"

"Yuki…is that any way to greet Haa-san!" Shigure bounded out of his room, looking distinctly like an eager puppy. Hatori resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Come in! What brings you here? Breakfast won't be here for another hour or so! Tohru's still sleeping."

The Sohma doctor walked in, and hung his coat on the coat rack, shucking his shoes as well. "Haru called me—"

Shigure interrupted quickly, closing the door with a bang. "About that, I really wasn't going to let the poor kid wander around-I would have sent some dogs after him if it got too late, you know?" The dog chuckled nervously.

Hatori's eyebrows rose and he let his dry sarcasm speak for itself, "It's nice to know you take your responsibilities so seriously, but no, that's not it. Kyo's sick again."

That brought the dog up short. "Kyo's…sick? But, he went out to look for Haru last night."

Yuki, who was watching the exchange, chose to ignore his homework for a few more minutes, "Wait…are you sure they didn't just beat each other up again? I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up with a few broken bones, the way those two go at it."

"I don't think so." Hatori said, as he calmly started up the stairs. He could feel the old claustrophobia surrounding him, that feeling of restlessness when he was around the dog. Shigure was too familiar to him. They had too many damn memories between them, memories that could never be erased. Over the years, that tension had become gentler, softer, but never easier. Hatori resolved, again, to ignore it.

Haru had sounded concerned last night—Hatori had wanted to make the drive, but Akito…had been his usual demanding self. Hatori frowned neatly; no one knew just how close Akito had come to forbidding Hatori from tending to the cat. It was not something Hatori liked thinking about. "It's probably the flu." He said as he reached the top of the stairs.

Yuki averted his eyes, his curiosity appeased for now; but Shigure looked all too contemplative for his own good.

"Shigure, you should come over sometime…I'll give you some pointers on how to take care of sick children since this will probably happen again."

The dog looked startled, but Hatori disregarded it. He had a patient to tend to.

The doctor knocked on Kyo's door, and Haru opened it quickly, looking painfully sleep-deprived. The ox looked even more indifferent in the morning, eyes and mouth slack. He stared at Hatori for a minute, then walked past him, mumbling, "Took you long enough, he's on the bed. Hasn't thrown up again and I think his fever's down."

Nodding, Hatori entered the room, only to find Kyo sitting up, looking slightly bedraggled but not nearly as sick as Hatori had expected. He didn't look any worse than yesterday.

"How are you feeling, Kyo?" The doctor laid his briefcase on the table and fitted the stethoscope to his ears. He carefully checked the teen's heartbeat and lungs, listening to Kyo's response at the same time.

"I'm actually feeling better. Well," Kyo flinched at the cold metal, eyes on the wall, "better than last night. I think it was 'cause I was wandering around in the cold to find that stupid cow."

"Hm…cough."

Kyo did, thankful that the nausea had stopped somewhere along the night. He had actually fallen asleep for a few hours in the early morning, which was more rest than he had gotten for the past few days. Maybe his body had been too exhausted to keep awake.

Hatori straightened up, tucking his stethoscope under this jacket. He briefly stuck a thermometer in the cat's mouth before Kyo could protest and carefully checked the boy's pulse. Kyo grumbled softly but simply turned his face away from the doctor, staring at the wall with his usual anger. Hatori crinkled his brow in concentration. Everything seemed normal. The cat looked more tired than usual, but that was not completely unexpected…

"Have you been eating well?"

Kyo rolled his eyes, slumping, "I'm eating just as much as I usually do. Wanna tell me what's wrong with me now? Flu? Cold?"

"Probably some sort of infection. You look better than I thought you would. Any nausea? Fatigue? Cramps? Headaches? Tell me any symptoms you can think of." Hatori spoke in a monotone, carefully checking the along the cat's neck for any swollen lymph nodes. He took a moment to study the teen sitting docilely under his care, surprised that he felt almost—sad—for the cat. Kyo was cursed enough; he didn't need anything more to deal with. And if Kyo wasn't sick, but just—

"Umm…" Kyo mumbled uncomfortably, "I've been feeling sick lately, but I only started throwing up last night. I do get headaches, really bad ones. And I can't sleep—I don't sleep very well." Hatori noticed that the cat was grinding his teeth a bit and moved away, hoping that Kyo wasn't being stubborn or proud and downplaying his symptoms. "I…uh—blacked-out that other day, as you know—and I feel…" he closed his eyes as if in physical pain and clenched his fists, "really weak sometimes, like I can barely move. But it's not—not laziness, or even tiredness…it's like my body just doesn't want to move."

"I think maybe you've just pushed yourself too hard. A human body can only take so much abuse, and I've seen the way you fight with everyone."

Kyo snarled, about to launch into some sort of tirade, but Hatori completely ignored the outburst and turned away. His clear dismissal stopped any insults and he clicked his briefcase closed, "Good thing you have a break this week from school, you won't be missing any schoolwork. I'm prescribing some bed rest, at the least—no, I don't care if you can't sleep, just lie there and don't move—and absolutely no fighting or training. I'll inform Yuki and Hatsuharu, but if you instigate anything, and it gets back to me, rest assured I'll have you strapped to a hospital bed."

Kyo paled, his already tired complexion going almost grey-tinged. Hatori felt guilt stir briefly but continued relentlessly, the cat had no reason to looks so betrayed. "Eat three meals a day, a lot of vegetables, liquids. Stay hydrated; try not to exert yourself too much. I'll come to check on you in a few days. Call me if anything unusual happens." Without a word of goodbye he left the room, eager to return home and finally drink his morning cup of coffee.

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"So, Hatori said you've pushed yourself too hard." Haru's voice was surprisingly animated for this early in the morning. "The human body can only take so much abuse, you know."

Haru was carefully not looking at him, and Kyo felt the first stirrings of anger curl deep in his gut, and his fist curled under the bedcovers. He ignored anything else he might have felt. "I'm not human, remember?" Snarling, crimson eyes resigned, "I'm the cat—I can do whatever the hell I want."

"But you're sick, aren't you. Just a weak little kitten."

"What set you off, today? You haven't even been up for an hour yet and Black Haru's out." Kyo threw off his sheets, staggering upwards with a glare. The anger felt good, for once. But the threat of hospitalization still lingered and he let the kitten comment go. He made for the hallway, wanting to be as far away from the other teen as possible. The ox was too damn confusing.

"Fuck you. Don't walk past me like I'm not here."

Kyo ignored the angry ox. Behind him, the air shifted-Kyo reacted too late and Haru easily grabbed his arm.

"Let go of me!" Kyo said, through gritted teeth, struggling to escape the tight hold around his bicep.

Their eyes met. Haru's were nearly black. "What's wrong with you? Hatori said you were fine, but you don't look fine." It was easy to see the anger on the younger teen's face, the expression was a familiar one. Kyo felt the other's hand tighten around his arm.

"Just fucking let me go, asshole." Nearly to the point of violence, Kyo jerked his body away. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You." Haru clamped his mouth shut. Then opened it again, "Damn—I mean, just tell me what's going on with you." His voice had lost that angry edge.

"I didn't know you cared, Haru." The tone was snide and irritated. He wanted the damn cow to let him leave!

"Yeah, I didn't either." Haru relaxed his grip marginally; his face serious and eyes calm. He let his hand drop.

Is he white now? Kyo thought, before he reacted to Haru's words, to the implication that Haru was concerned about him, irritatingly impossible. "I thought we were rivals, right? So act like my damn rival. Don't act like you care."

"Maybe I do care. What's so strange 'bout that? I realized, last night, that I would miss you if you went away. Wouldn't you miss me if I died?"

Kyo paused, staring at the other teen. He wanted to get angry, wanted to punch Haru's calm face and ignore this sort of conversation. Wanted to ignore the way his chest hurt to think of Haru, dying or dead. "Stupid cow. I wouldn't care." Kyo whispered harshly and turned towards the door, fully intending to escape.

"Oh, no you don't." Haru's bare hands caught both of his arms this time, holding Kyo immobile in the other boy's grip. Haru's breath stirred the hair against the back of his neck and Kyo shivered, "You're lying. I can tell."

Black Haru, again, Kyo thought.

"I hate liars. But I like you, why is that?"

Kyo's eyes widened, thoughts racing. "What?" He hated how choked his voice sounded right now.

"Why won't you believe me, kitty?" Those damn hands tightened painfully, "Do you hate me that much or are you scared?"

"Shut up! Shut the hell up! Let go of me, bastard!" Kyo struggled weakly, heart beating loudly. Why was the stupid cow doing this? Was this another trick? It was Haru's Black side, after all.

Haru's hands loosened a little, and Kyo felt him tilt his head into a less aggressive pose. It felt more like Haru was…holding him rather than restraining him.

"I like you, Kyo. I want us to be…friends."

"You—liar!"

Haru froze.

"You—stop doing this! Stop acting as if you like me, and then suddenly telling me that you don't. Stop making me think—" Kyo blinked rapidly, trying to swallow through his tightening throat. "Stop making me think that we're—friends. I don't want to like you when you keep reminding me that I'm—I'm stupid to expect anything from you. Goddamn it, either hate me or like me. But don't—" He choked, glad that his face couldn't be seen by the other teen, "don't keep fucking—confusing me."

There was a pause and Kyo panted, bracing himself, sure that more taunts would be forthcoming. The body behind him leaned a little closer, and Haru's voice brushed across his ear. "I think…you might be right. I'm sorry. There." Haru suddenly released the cat, and Kyo staggered forward. He turned back to look at the damn cow.

"I'm sorry, Kyo." The ox looked genuinely remorseful. "I'm sorry for being so bi-polar. Story of my life, huh? I—I just want, I want us to be friends, as corny as that sounds."

Sometimes, Kyo really, really hated the ox. And himself. For actually wanting something like friendship from the stupid cow. "Look," he turned away, "I don't want to deal with this. It's not that freaking important, so whatever, let's be friends," the word was a little bitter, "and you can let me go eat breakfast."

Haru nodded stiffly, and Kyo yanked the door open, putting the thought out of his head that the other teen had touched him a hell lot more in the last few days than any other person had in the last couple of years. It didn't matter, he told himself; it wouldn't affect him when it turned out to be some sort of trick, or a fluke…or whatever this weird thing between them was, it wouldn't matter. It couldn't. He wouldn't let it.

"That necklace…it was for you. I mean," Haru stumbled over his words when Kyo looked back at him curiously, "I'm not going to wear the symbol of a cat…would be kinda stupid, don't you think?"

Kyo turned away from Haru and headed for the bathroom, intent on escape.

Haru sighed softly and ran both hands through his hair, easing the tension in his forehead a little. That had gone well.

He had no idea what had come over him, just that the thought of Kyo sick…made him feel like throwing up. He shook his head, cast a last glance through the open door and decided to sort through the clothes Hatori had packed.

He dropped the cat necklace on Kyo's desk as he headed for the shower, even though he knew the cat wouldn't wear it. He had meant what he had said; it wasn't like he could wear the symbol of the cat.

Figuring out how to work the shower's temperature controls was an interesting experience, and had the end effect of leaving him that much closer to another stretch of time as his black personality. He stomped downstairs, leering briefly at Tohru, ignoring Yuki and walking straight into the kitchen. Where Kyo was searching through the refrigerator.

He did his best to ignore the cat as well, scowling at the toaster as it took forever. Kyo seemed completely recovered from their earlier argument, and as the cat tipped the milk container high in the air to suck out the last drops, Haru's eyes caught on something shiny at the base of Kyo's pale neck. The necklace. Kyo was wearing the damn cat necklace.

Haru turned back to his toast, only to discover that had burnt while he was distracted. It didn't really matter; his mood had suddenly, stubbornly turned delighted.


	7. Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

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Finally, Kyo thought, he could relax. He stretched luxuriously and sank down again on his back, resting quietly on the patio. One forearm flung across his eyes to block the sun, the rest of him stretched out on the sun-warmed wood. The only sounds around him were the faint noises of the wind and the birds. It was almost as good as actually sleeping.

It was sunny outside, though the ground was still damp from the rain of the previous day. The patio, however, was incredibly warm from the afternoon heat and Kyo relaxed further; this was the sort of weather he liked. Absolutely no chance that he—

A shadow blocked the heat of the sun, and the cat reluctantly uncovered his eyes.

"Kyo, do you need anything from the grocery?" It was Tohru, bending over slightly, hand shading her face from the sun so she could peer down at him with a cheerful grin.

"Nah…" He rolled over, facing away from the happy girl. He was too lethargic to deal with Tohru's customary cheerfulness. He didn't want to hurt her feelings—he did that enough by mistake—he just wanted a few moments to himself. Just to lie in the sun and soak up warmth. He'd been cold. He was finally warming up.

"Okay, if you're sure... If Shigure comes home before me, tell him I went out. Oh! Haru's asleep upstairs, so try not to be too loud, all right? Bye, Kyo!" Her quick footsteps sounded as she left, as well as the fading song hummed under her breath.

Kyo closed his eyes again, feeling bad for the relief he felt at the sound of her absence.

The cat dozed in the languid heat of the afternoon, somehow comfortable on the flat surface of the patio. After awhile the skin on the back of his neck began to burn, so he slowly flipped onto his back again, eyes still pressed shut. Yawning, he stretched his arms up, arching his back in an effort to motivate slack muscles. He curled his stiff fingers and stretched them out again. He should be getting up, it was almost evening.

"You look like a cat when you do that, you know?" Haru's muffled amusement intruded on the hazy evening air, and Kyo paid him no mind. He felt content, and he wouldn't let the stupid cow ruin that.

"Well, better than your cow-hair..."

"Your hair is the same shade as the cat, so you've no room to talk." Haru responded lazily, standing barefooted near the doorway.

Kyo roused himself firmly, wondering why the ox was just standing there. Might as well ask…"What's up?"

Settling down next to cat, Haru stretched his legs out along the steps leading out of the house. He contemplated the other teen for a minute and then nonchalantly asked, "You wanna go get some ice-cream?"

Kyo considered smacking the other teen for his stupid idea, and then decided he was too comfortable to really move much. Instead, he propped himself up on his elbows, eyebrows raised high. "You're kidding, right? Why would I want to walk all that way just to get ice-cream?"

"Because it's actually warm today." Haru said slowly, as if explaining to a child, "And there's none in the house…and well, I don't know the way."

"No thanks." Kyo flopped down again, disdain evident in his expression. "Go by yourself. There's no way I'm getting up."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"I don't understand why you couldn't get the damn ice-cream on your own." Kyo grumbled as he walked, stubbornly avoiding looking at Haru's smug countenance. The self-satisfied teen infuriated Kyo, but at least the warmth from the afternoon sun still lingered and there was no rain to bother him.

Haru's smirk grew wider as the cat continued to grumble. It was easy to get Kyo to do something if you just made it a challenge. Chancing another quick look at the cat, his smile unconsciously softened. Haru thoughtfully considered the situation. It felt a little strange to spend so much time with Kyo. After all, he was usually his 'black' side when he was around the cat, and that left little time to actually have a conversation. Yelling or shouting was easy, but actually talking? What was one supposed to say? Hmm…well, he would make the effort. It couldn't be that hard.

"So…umm…" Now that he had opened his mouth, he had no idea what to say. Damn. "The weather's nice today…?"

Kyo shot an irritated glance at the ox, "You idiot. What kind of statement is that?" Rolling his eyes, the cat asked sharply, "Do I look like I need you to point out something stupidly obvious like that?"

"I was just making conversation." Haru's voice was perfectly bland.

"Yeah, well, you suck at it. We were perfectly fine yesterday when walking to the sword store. I don't need your stupid, random comments to enjoy your company!"

"You enjoy my company?" Haru smiled, the expression unusually enthusiastic for the placid teen. "Nice to know."

Kyo looked flustered for a moment, but he recovered quickly as he turned away. At least Haru could only see the back of his head and not his embarrassed face. "Don't let it go to your head. Better you than Yuki."

The ox acknowledged the words; but he was still smiling by the time they reached the ice-cream store.

Kyo ordered two scoops of chocolate ice cream—Haru was secretly glad to see the cat's appetite—and Haru ordered whatever was new. They were lucky to arrive in time, the store had been about to close.

Strolling back towards the house, Kyo hastily consumed his chocolate treat. Haru was busy pondering the benefits of traveling with someone who knew where to go.

"You take just as long to eat ice-cream as you do to get somewhere." Kyo was practically done, with just a little piece of cone left. He shoved the end inside his mouth.

Taking a moment to answer, Haru responded dryly, "…I actually want to taste the flavor. Because, unlike someone I know, I don't get the same flavor every single time I get ice-cream."

The vague tease completely missed its mark, as Kyo was busy licking his fingers. "Which flavor did you get?" The cat stared curiously at the mix of colors mashed on top of the waffle-cone.

"I'm not sure…it's good. Has chocolate and strawberry. And caramel. And maybe…pecans." Haru took another long lick, ignoring the slightly strange looks they were getting from other people on the street.

Kyo's attention was wandering a little now that he'd finished his cone. Haru caught sight of the other's blank face, and the ox grinned wickedly.

"Wanna try some?"

Kyo's attention snapped back to the ox, a little confused. "Huh?"

"Kitty," He said in a sing-song voice sure to annoy the cat, "try the ice-cream. You always stick with plain ol' chocolate, try something new! Be brave!"

The cat's eyes narrowed. "Don't want to try your stupid flavor. It's probably disgusting."

"Trust me, you'll like it." He loved needling the cat like this.

"You don't know what I like!" Kyo walked faster, mouth pursed mulishly

Haru laughed, "Sure I do. I was there when you figured out you hated leeks… I still remember the expression on your face. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard."

"Don't think I've ever punched you that hard, either." Kyo muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyway, I don't want your germs… and I'm sick remember?"

"You sound like a girl…" Haru altered his voice to mimic a girl. "Germs. Ewww!" He laughed at the insulted look the cat shot him, "… but more to the point, I doubt I'll get sick. Bet you're just scared!"

"You idiot! Shut up!"

But Haru was back to his usual taunts, and couldn't just let it go at that. He wanted the cat provoked and snarling, that lively spark back in those red eyes. "So, are you gonna try it, or what?" He held the cone in front of the other teen, letting the cold air brush the other's face. Kyo nearly walked into it.

"Fine, fine! Stop waving that thing in my face, okay!"

Haru watched avidly.

Kyo studied the mix of ice-cream colors before him, paused, and then tentatively stuck his tongue out. Prematurely scrunching his face up, the tip of his tongue curled out, barely touching the cold ice-cream. The cat stopped for a moment, then his nose relaxed, and he took a larger lick. It wasn't that bad. Another lick….actually, it was pretty good.

Haru, who was watching for the cat's reaction, thought the entire thing was undeniably cute. The cat's tongue disappeared into his mouth, and Haru licked his lips, wondering how sweet the inside of Kyo's mouth would taste.

Haru's hand almost dropped the cone in shock at the thought.

—Instead he jerked his hand away; and, unfortunately, the cold ice-cream hit Kyo square in the nose.

"Argh! You idiot!" Kyo jerked backward, howling, "Damn cow!" The cat swiped furiously at his nose, removing the cold substance and leaving a sticky residue. "You stupid cow, I should have known it was just a way for you to annoy me!"

Haru hastily withdrew his hand, fearing for the life of his cone. He watched in bemusement as the cat snarled and shouted, and the ox slowly started eating his frozen treat again. This was new. And a tad bit strange. Kyo had always been physically attractive-but Haru had never thought about acting on his feelings for the cat...

Kyo glared, his voice finally quieting. Hands held protectively over his nose he mumbled through his fingers, "You're such a fucking bastard."

Haru was too busy dealing with his little epiphany to answer.

He cocked his head to the side, still eating his ice-cream, but now silently contemplating the cat. Kyo was definitely attractive, but Haru had never really taken notice of it. Thinking back on it…by the time Haru had realized that both girls and boys could be attractive, he had already hurt the cat's feelings and was more than a little infatuated with Yuki. And even after Yuki had firmly put an end to Haru's puppy love, there had been Rin.

But it had always been there. He liked seeing the cat flushed and angry and riled up-Haru had long ago acknowledged that half the reason he sought the cat out when he wanted to fight was because Kyo looked so damn pretty when he was mad, and Black Haru had no trouble whatsoever appreciating the fact.

And now, here he was-nowhere near his Black persona-but still lusting after the cat.

"Eh…Haru, you ok?" The cat was peering at him closely, nose somewhat sticky looking, his eyes looking vaguely apprehensive.

"Oh…yeah." Haru realized he probably shouldn't have gone silent like that, "Just thinking about how I enjoy your company too." And Haru was never telling Kyo exactly how he meant that statement-if Kyo knew about his attraction, the cat would quickly end their new camaraderie.

And Haru didn't want to go back to just their fights.

Kyo had withdrawn, gaze focused on something in the distance. "You're really serious about this 'friend' thing, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah." Self-revelations could wait, Haru told himself, and shoved his feelings to the back of his mind. "I don't say things I don't mean."

"I thought you might forget, I couldn't tell if you were black or white when you had me trapped like that."

Haru frowned, paused, and then shook his head a little. His cone was dripping multi-colored trails all over his hand. And his rings. Crap.

"Stupid. Give me that." Kyo took the messy cone, quickly licking the melted excess to prevent more of a mess. He fished out a spare napkin from his pocket, thankful that he had remembered to grab some incase something like this happened.

Haru mumbled a thanks, quickly cleaning his hand and his rings. He would have to wash them, but for now he deposited the sticky metal in his pocket.

Kyo was staring at him, half-amused by the looks of things. "You're red."

And the cat was right. Haru's face was hot, and he knew he was blushing.

"Yeah, well….so what?" Lame response, but he could care less. The ox avoided looking at the other teen as he took back his slightly soggy cone.

"Nothing. Just…you walk around naked without a care in the world, but you get embarrassed over melting ice-cream. Either I'm missing something, or whatever was occupying your thoughts was very distracting. Or perverted. Or both."

"I don't know what you're talking about." A little bitter, Haru looked away. Perhaps they had been perverted-but his attraction to the cat was quickly turning into a crush. Why did he do these things to himself? Couldn't he like someone who was actually in his reach for once?

"Come on, then." Kyo noticed the darkening expression on Haru's face and made an effort to lighten it. "It's getting dark, and you don't want me to vomit all over your shoes again, do you?"

Haru studied the other boy's face. "Are you tired?"

"I'm fine." Kyo's smile was hesitant, but he responded to the concern in Haru's question.

They continued home, Haru trying to finish his ice-cream before it melted completely, and Kyo enjoying the balmy twilight air. Both tried to avoid thinking too deeply about today and their time spent together. Kyo wasn't all that sure what it all meant, despite Haru's reassurances; and Haru was wary of examining his feeling for the cat any more closely. The silence between them, as they left the city sounds and lights, was vaguely impatient, but comfortable. Comforting, almost. But ready. For something.

::::

Their meeting place was a little out-of-the-way café that many would have missed. Nearly run-down at the edges, it served silky, bitter coffee. It was usually a crowd-pleaser; but no one but they and the local homeless man were occupying the cafe at eleven at night.

Hatori had picked the time and place. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be seen meeting with the dog. If Aya found out, the whole world would know about it. And it would inevitably end up reported as some clandestine rendezvous between secret lovers, not a simple meeting between friends. The Sohma doctor snorted, already annoyed. He would keep this short.

"So, Haa-san, why did you request my magnificent presence? You must know that my nursing skills are quite up to par." Shigure grinned, remembering Hatori's offer to help him with his attempts to care for sick children.

Hatori sat opposite to the dog, sipping hot liquid from his cup. He considered the other man for a few minutes, watching the silly smile slide away to reveal worried features, watching as Shigure settled himself in his seat, bracing for news, good or bad.

"I think I know what's wrong with Kyo." He took another deep sip, "And it's not the flu…In fact, it's has to do with the curse."


	8. Chapter 7

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Chapter 7

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"Are you sure?" Expression bleak, Shigure stared at the cup of cold tea he cradled between his hands.

"Well…" The other man sighed, "it could always be the flu, or some sort of virus, but…I don't think so. If nothing happens within a week—" The doctor looked out the window, his coffee long finished; the air uncomfortable now that he had revealed his suspicions. "Don't say anything…to him."

Shigure looked up, startled. "Who? Kyo, or Akit—"

The look Hatori shot the other man was completely blank, "Both of them. Better not to mention it at all."

"Yeah. I guess so." Shigure drained his tepid tea, ignoring the taste. His mouth was dry.

The dog slumped further, and Hatori felt briefly guilty for the weight he had placed on the dog with his suspicions. "I should go; I have patients to attend to."

Shaking the hair out of his eyes, the dog glanced out the window as well, "Hmm…is it already that late?"

"Yes, it's almost midnight…you should be getting back, as well."

"That I should…We should do this again, Hatori. Without the depressing revelations…"

Hatori gave a small, insincere smile. "Maybe." He stood up. "Goodbye, Shigure. And good luck…if something happens, call me."

The doctor left, escaping into the badly lit streets. As he walked away, he forced himself not to look back; he didn't want to see the forlorn figure slumped in an empty café.

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Kyo and Haru spent the night at Kazuma Sohma's house, curled up on sleeping bags in the spare room.

Their walk home had been derailed by another argument, this one quite a bit friendlier than their previous. It had ended with Haru determined to prove he could break a certain number of boards, and they had both headed to the dojo. Kyo had rolled his eyes at the ox, stating he'd better accompany Haru, both to confirm Haru's claims and to make sure the other boy didn't get lost.

By the time they'd reached the dojo, Kyo was again tired, and the cat's Shishou had taken one look at his almost-son and ordered the teen to rest. It was, after all, almost midnight, and the martial arts teacher had been sleeping. The cat hadn't protested—much. Haru soon joined him, unwilling to try and find his way back home in the dark.

When he woke, Haru had to think for a minute before remembering where he was. Stretching, the ox blinked his eyes a bit, slowly adjusting to being awake. He'd never been a morning person and today wasn't any different.

Then again, maybe it was a little outside the norm. He'd never woken up nearly nose to nose with a sleeping Kyo.

The ox slowly processed the messy red hair and slightly sheet-creased cheek. Haru smiled helplessly, the cat looked entirely adorable, curled up around the pillow that was supposed to be under his head…

Carefully, softly, Haru brushed a few stray pieces of hair away from the cat's face. Haru noted Kyo's scent, sweaty and warm and somehow comforting, and wondered if he had ever been this calm. Almost…peaceful. It was strange that the cat could bring out such quiet in his mind.

The cat suddenly twitched, and sneezed, and the calm was shattered. Haru yanked his hand away, scrambling to look as nonchalant as usual, ignoring how red his cheeks must be. Shit, Haru thought, he'd almost been caught. Kyo would've freaked. And all the progress they had made previously would be for nothing, because the other teen was going to hate him when he found out. And the cat would find out; because Haru had absolutely no ability at concealing things like this…

Haru rolled over, getting up awkwardly. He didn't bother to say good morning to the now-awakening cat. Why weren't these feelings going away? He didn't want to like the cat! Not like this, at least. He could barely get Kyo to trust him with friendship.

With an irritable shake of his head, Haru put his thoughts out of his head for awhile. Breakfast, then a shower. And some training…maybe if he was exhausted he wouldn't be so damn introspective.

:::::

"C'mon, please?"

"No. You're not supposed to be fighting, remember?" Haru frowned at his hands through sweaty strands of hair, knuckles already sore from the cracked vinyl of the punching bag.

"It won't be fighting," Kyo's hedged, guiltily shrugging his shoulders, "we'll just be practicing."

"No." Haru slammed his fist into the punching bag for the hundredth time, eyes narrowed on the contact between the surface and his fist. The cat was suspiciously silent—but only for a moment.

"Haru. Damn it. Will you stop ignoring me?" The cat suddenly grabbed the ox by the neck of his shirt and jerked the other boy around so that Haru was facing him. "Will you fucking look at me, at least? You haven't—since this morning."

"Let me go." The sudden nearness made his skin spark, and Haru had to look away or risk doing something stupid. Like hitting Kyo-or kissing him.

"Look…I don't know what I did to piss you off, but you might as well tell me!" Kyo's hands twisted the material a little tighter, and their faces moved a fraction closer.

Haru quickly lost any patience he might have had, "I am this close to fucking punching you! Let go of my shirt!"

"Go ahead!" Kyo retorted, eyes a little wild. "Try it!"

Haru snarled and twisted out of the other's grip, then shoved his way out of the dojo. He didn't stop for his shoes. The air felt good against his skin but did nothing to cool his temper. Dead leaves crunched under his bare feet, and he took a deep breath. And another.

Kyo's voice startled him. "What's wrong with you?"

The cat had followed him; Haru's hands curled into fists involuntarily.

"—you were in a perfectly good mood yesterday!"

The suddenly bitter feeling inside made Haru choke, and he dug his nails into his palms. How could the cat be so fucking blind? "Why the hell can't you leave me alone?"

Kyo crossed his arms defensively, "Damn it, you're the one who's been following me around-asking to be friends, the ice-cream-!"

The ox's face was dark with anger, and he retorted without thinking, "I don't want you near me."

Flinching back, Kyo looked shocked for a minute. He looked away and his voice emerged bitter. "So what was yesterday?" His voice got progressively lower, "A joke? Pretend you want to be friends so that you can ignore me again! Find it funny?"

Yesterday. God. Haru knew he couldn't say anything about what he'd realized. Couldn't say anything about his stupid crush, damn it. Something else—"I'm just returning the favor!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kyo stared at him indignantly.

"When I left—when I was trying so hard to be Yuki's friend," Haru glared resentfully at the cat's pale face, "you didn't come after me, you barely even noticed! I didn't matter to you at all!" Why he was bringing up the past now, he couldn't say. He just knew that it was the easiest way to make the cat leave.

Kyo looked shocked for a moment, he looked down. His lashes hid his eyes and the line of his mouth was angry and defensive, "Shut up! What the hell?…Back then, you—you betrayed me. You're the one—"

"So what if I spent some time with Yuki?" Haru snapped out, "It's not like you tried to talk to me afterwards? Whose fault is that?" The words were uglier than he'd intended. He could see the distance between them, see their tentative friendship breaking. And he couldn't stop it. Because perhaps it was better to end this now—

"Did you expect me to? You're the one who fucking left me." Kyo's voice was low enough that Haru had to strain to hear it, "I—I thought, I kept thinking afterwards…" The cat's hands trembled and he clenching them tightly, "I still don't know what I did wrong. You ran away! You didn't even know how ugly I could be and you ran away from the normal part of me! —You just left; you left me for that damn rat, when you knew how much I needed you!"

"Well, you never acted like you needed me!" Haru found he was yelling, "You didn't even care! I hated being around you! I still hate it!" Too far—he was lying and he knew it. Knew these words would end it.

It always ended like this.

"Then don't come near me." Kyo's voice was rough and raw, and cut across the space between them— "Leave again, and forget like you always do. Bastard." He choked on the last word and stalked away. But not before Haru glimpsed the pain in Kyo's expressive eyes, twisted up behind all that anger.

Haru gave a muted yell and violently punched a nearby tree. The pain shocked him into stillness, and he stood there, shaking with the effort of not destroying something. God. Fuck it all, just fuck—he groaned, sagging and dropping his head into his hands.

He sat down on the cold steps, toes digging into the concrete and fallen leaves, and waited for his memory of the last few minutes to leave. At least he might stop seeing Kyo's eyes, wet again, betrayed again.

Ten minutes later and he still hadn't forgotten.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

He should have known—damn it—should have known better than to try and work things out. Kyo swallowed hard. To pretend that Haru was still a part of his life and actually cared about him had been stupid. He felt so stupid.

Forget the stupid cow, he told himself. He'd been alone for the longer part of his life. He didn't need Haru anymore. God damn it. He rubbed a fist across his eyes, and told himself that it was the wind making him tear up. He didn't care. He didn't.

He walked slowly, limbs weak enough that he was glad he hadn't actually fought with—No, he wasn't going to think about—

That damn cow. With his stupid, unconcerned face. What did people see in him anyway?

Sure, Haru had that sleek, metal adorned style; combined with his sharp features and dark eyes…well, maybe Kyo could understand. Not that he'd admit it. And damn it, he was thinking about the dumb cow again. About how good-looking he was, no less. He didn't want to think like that.

Especially now—he thought he had put all of that behind him. Squashed any and all affection or attraction he felt towards the other boy…because, obviously, he didn't stand a chance. Haru had dated Rin—who was gorgeous, and sophisticated, and all this other crap. He certainly couldn't compete with her…

Hell, if he was honest, he didn't even measure up to Yuki. Wasn't as strong. Wasn't as polite or kind, or whatever. Wasn't as…beautiful as either of them. Haru would never give him a second glance.

Goddamn. Why was he thinking shit like this?

Kyo had thought he'd gotten over this.

He didn't want to like the stupid cow ever again. It hurt too much.


	9. Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

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Kazuma paused. He was standing in the doorway, watching the ox sit despondently on the porch steps. Girding himself, he sat down next to the ox, breathing in the cool air of an autumn evening.

"Haru. I thought you both were training?"

The ox barely shrugged.

So they had fought-it wasn't surprising. What was strange was the fact that Haru was sitting here, looking so dejected. Usually the teen didn't remember his fights with Kyo, awful as they were. The martial arts teacher took a deep breath, hoping the ox would listen to him. "You know…I always thought you two were important to each other."

Haru didn't even blink, and his voice said he could care less, "Really."

"When I would come to visit the main house, I usually checked up on Kyo—quietly, because I didn't know how to introduce myself…" Kazuma chuckled, "At first, I only ever saw him with his mother, at her side or in her arms; he was always trapped in his house. But around his fifth year he met you…and suddenly he was spending half his day outside. I'd catch sight of you two fighting or flat on the ground laughing, and I would have to smile because it reminded me of two brother cubs play-fighting."

Haru turned his face towards his teacher, his voice so quiet it could barely be heard, "I ruined that."

Kazuma's expression was unreadable, but he put a compassionate hand on Haru's shoulder, "Maybe you did. But you also never really gave him up."

Haru shrugged noncommittally, looking slightly confused, "I left him."

"But even when you were with Yuki, your other side knew who he wanted to be around. Unfortunately, your other side isn't the…more compassionate of the two, so Kyo didn't—still doesn't—really understand."

Looking away, Haru stood up and found his shoes. "It doesn't matter now."

Shishou stood as well, "I think it does matter…I think you want to be his friend again; but you're letting your past mistakes stop you. I wish you would try harder, for his sake at least. It was easy to befriend him when he as little, Haru, because he had yet to learn that people can't really be trusted." His words came quicker, as he tried to get his point across. "He's going to run from you, but only because he thinks you'll leave anyway."

Haru began to walk away, head down. But as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, he quietly said, "I'll keep that in mind…"

"One more thing, Haru." The boy didn't pause, but Shishou hoped his voice would carry, "Even if you're afraid, try not to push him away. All he's known is rejection. He doesn't need you to keep wavering between loving and hating him and hating yourself."

There was no answer except the rustle of leaves, and Shishou sighed as he watched the solitary figure tramp away. It hurt to see these children so jaded and wounded already…they were barely seventeen. It was the zodiac to blame, of course; what could have been a gift was such a terrible curse for each of its family members. Each one had their own scars and nightmares…

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was late, and the streets were empty.

Haru dragged his feet as walked, moving along as slowly as he could. Vaguely, he wondered what the time was—it couldn't be later than midnight, though the tar black sky gave no indication. It was dark, and he could barely see in the grungy light of the street lamps. He was cold and tired, not to mention, completely lost.

If he hadn't fought with the cat, he wouldn't be in this predicament.

Then again—and Haru cut that thought off and told himself to stop thinking about it. It wasn't his fault. Kyo was the one who had followed him, even after he had told the other teen not to.

Besides—and Haru's eyes grew dark as he tried to convince himself—it was better this way. Kyo would never find out about Haru's feelings, and he could get over this crush he had on the cat.

He sighed and abruptly noticed he had reached a crossroads. Right or left, the ox had absolutely no idea which way led home. He eventually took the left, simply because it had a sidewalk, and that offered more safety than walking in the middle of the road.

The fallen leaves had gathered in wet clumps at the edges of the curb, and they squelched unpleasantly beneath Haru's boots. The buildings around him were dark and empty, windows eerily blank. Why didn't this street have any damn lights? Maybe he should have taken the other road. Life was like that, though—full of regrets.

He didn't want to be out here. He wanted to be home—warm and asleep. Haru shook his head, nearly groaning as he realized it wouldn't be any better at Shigure's house. He slept in the same room as the cat—that was going to be really damn awkward. He should probably move back to the Inner House.

Trudging along wearily, nothing but the sounds of a far-away highway to keep him company, Haru couldn't help but think of Kyo. He kept remembering the last few days—kept wishing things had worked out differently. He shoved his hands into his pockets and heard the cat's upset plea all over again.

"Liar! … Stop acting as if you like me, and then suddenly telling me that you don't!"

I'm sorry, the ox thought silently. He hadn't been able to stop himself—he had done exactly what the cat had been scared of-convinced Kyo that they could work things out and then abandoned him. Haru breathed out sharply, face full of pain. Why couldn't things have stayed the same? If he hadn't realized, hadn't felt—they could have been happy as friends and left it at that.

Maybe Kyo would have liked him back. Maybe…

His chest ached numbly and so the ox pulled the collar of his jacket up a bit. He felt cold inside, and he kept flashing back to that moment—when he had seen how much his words had hurt, the humiliation and pain written bluntly all over Kyo's face. God, he would never be able to go near the cat again. Not even for a fight; certainly not for anything closer. He wouldn't be able to give the other boy random little gifts. Wouldn't ever drag Kyo out to eat ice-cream again. Wouldn't get to hold Kyo up when the stupid cat needed it.

Was he that much of a coward? Haru shuddered and stopped, standing still in the dark.

Was he willing to give all that up because he couldn't say what he really felt? He had pushed the cat away so that Kyo would never find out about his feelings, but his actions had made the other teen hate him anyway. Kyo hated him, and Haru hadn't even told him…

He should have risked it. He should have told the cat, because things couldn't be any worse between them than now. Standing in the middle of the street, Haru squeezed his eyes shut, afraid he would cry. Because he would rather have lost the cat because Kyo didn't return Haru's affection.

He'd always been the daredevil, the risk-taker—why hadn't he just told the cat how he felt?

Haru stood for a moment longer, frozen with guilt and regret. He wasn't sure what to do now. This wasn't fixable; this wasn't something he could ask the cat to forget.

I hate being around you. He had said—how could he take that back?

He had to try, if only to make up for his earlier cowardice. At least he could try to make sure the cat knew that it wasn't just another betrayal; that Haru had been just as vulnerable to the cat's rejection as Kyo had been to his. Last time—when complications in their friendship had arisen, he had left—this time he couldn't.

Decision made, Haru straightened and began to walk. Now all he had to do was find the cat. He hoped he could before the night was over.

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Haru shook his head hopelessly. He had been walking for at least three hours and still hadn't found the cat. By some miracle he had stumbled upon Shigure's house. But the cat clearly hadn't been there, and Haru had checked every room—avoiding the others' questions as best he could. The cat wasn't there. Nor was he in the surrounding woods.

Now Haru was wandering the streets—in fact, he was probably wandering in circles. It had been a long time since he had felt this pathetic.

A flash of bright orange caught the ox's eyes through the gloom and his head shot up. Eyes wide. Was that…?

It was.

Kyo was sitting on a little stone bridge, one leg dangling over the small creek and the other curled up close to his torso. The cat was barely moving, head down and body curled protectively close.

Haru slowly headed towards the other teen; quiet because he didn't know what to say; even if he had the words, his throat was too tight. He stopped, a little to the side of the other teen, and noticed the slightly shaking shoulders. Oh, Kyo.

The cat jerked and whipped around, hands quickly going to his face and wiping away the gleaming moisture there. Kyo's mouth opened, eyes afraid and angry, and then he choked. Looked away and wouldn't look at Haru.

Haru quietly dropped to his knees beside the cat, swallowing heavily.

"Kyo."

The cat's expression pulled into painful lines, and he swiftly turned his face a little further away. But he didn't get up and leave.

Haru watched as the cat's hands tightened over the stone edge of the bridge; the knuckles turning a clammy white. He wished the cat didn't look so alone, so far away from him. How was he supposed to reach Kyo. "I'm sorry." His voice was barely a whisper; the gloom and the night and the guilt choking him.

Kyo stayed silent.

"Please." Haru reached for the other boy and then clenched his hand into a fist before it could make contact. He didn't know how Kyo would react if he touched him. "Let me explain."

"Explain?" Kyo seemed to struggle to force out his words, they sounded disjointed in the night air. Maybe that was because the cat kept taking sharp, controlled little breaths. "I think—you made it perfectly clear—" The cat stopped for a moment, "Just leave me alone."

"I was scared." Haru blurted out. Desperate. "I was scared—"

Kyo sobbed out a disbelieving laugh, hunching his shoulders, "Scared? That makes a whole lot of sense. You pretended to like me because you were scared?"

"No." Haru pulled his hands into his lap, where he wouldn't be tempted to grab the cat and make Kyo look at him. "I never pretended. It was all too—I was scared that—that you would hate me—when…" his voice got whisper soft, "That you would hate me again."

Kyo just sunk further down, head against his knee. "Go away, Haru. Please."

"No. I—I need to explain. I kept—kept noticing you. You made me worry, as if I needed you…Fuck it, Kyo. The truth is I like you, too damn much."

Kyo went very still.

Haru's hands trembled, "I mean—I really like you. I'm attracted to you." He scrambled for words, "I like you like that…sexually—romantically—fuck! I don't know how to explain it."

His words finally made the cat react. Kyo jerked to his feet, face pale and accusing. He slowly backed away from the other teen, face expressing his disbelief. "You—" The cat seemed lost for words, anger slowly stealing into his eyes—"you—you can't do this. You don't get to come barging into my life and expect me to like you. I know better that that." Kyo sobbed in a breath and glared bitterly. "You've already taught me that much, Haru. I don't need another lesson in your sort of friendship."

Haru rose to his feet as well, carefully following the retreating cat, "I'm not talking about friendship." He reached for Kyo, eyes begging for understanding, "Yes, I want to be your friend, but I want so much more. I'm not that same kid who didn't know how to deal with liking someone like you."

"Yeah, because it's a terrible thing to care for a monster." Kyo stopped and bent over, resting his palms against his thighs and digging his nails into the skin there, through the cloth. He looked like he was going to bolt. Or cry.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Haru tried to get closer to Kyo, and stopped when the other boy visibly shuddered, "Please, Kyo. Damn it. Don't run away—you—we can't keep running away from each other."

Kyo stopped and looked at him. And stood there and shook and somehow found it in himself to let Haru approach.

"I'm sorry. God, I didn't want you to hate me again. Like you did." They were close now; Haru could have reached out and touched Kyo's eyelashes if he wanted. He didn't though, the cat looked wary and on edge, eyes wide. "I'm sorry that I always hurt you."

"Bastard." Kyo forced out, and moved forward until his face was against Haru's neck. "Why didn't you just—say something?" The cat shuddered. And tried to say, "I like you too."

Haru's arms went around the other as naturally as anything else, supporting and being supported as Kyo's words shook him, "You—what?" He could barely believe it.

"Idiot." Kyo felt Haru's hold get a little tighter. "I've always liked you." And that statement hurt—twisting in the cat's throat. "You're the one who didn't notice me. You never seemed to care. You didn't even want to be my friend…"

There was a long pause, and Haru closed his eyes. He wondered how he could phrase this. "When I think about it, when I think about why I never—I think that I pretended. That I always—" he choked a little on the word, "I pretend not to care, so that no one realizes how much I really do care. I won't—I can't let people see how things hurt me. But you, I always let you see me…"

"I could get angry," Haru continued, voice nearly a whisper, mouth turned to Kyo's ear. "I could be hurt and defensive and judgmental and terrible; I could be my other self around you. I could stop pretending and somewhere in-between I could—just be me and not worry about it. You gave me that, and then I—" Haru stopped, not wanting to go there. "Why didn't you tell me? How you felt," he asked instead, softly. Kyo's words were just beginning to sink in, and he breathed in deeply—in fear, in anticipation—disbelief.

Kyo still wouldn't look at him, "I don't know. There…just never seemed a point in telling you. I mean, you liked Yuki" and there was a raw quality to the way Kyo said that, "…and then you were involved with Rin. So I—I just told myself to get over it."

Haru breathed out and hoped and asked "…are you over me?"

Kyo looked at him then, eyes half-scared and terribly serious, "No."

"Couldn't we try? Try being together, as a—couple. Dating?"

Kyo laughed and tried to twist away. The noise sounded more like pain. "Yeah, right! All we ever do is fight."

Haru paused and reluctantly let the cat go. Kyo wasn't a person to be held against his will. "You know," He tried to find the words, and the only thing that came to mind— "you're the only one I want to be around when I'm black."

Kyo closed his eyes and then tiredly opened them again. His arms came up to wrap about himself. His voice was tired in the night. "Well, you're always spoiling for a fight."

"No, that's not…you don't get it. It's not the fact that I want to challenge you. That's my white side too. But every other time my personality shifts, I hate it. Every other time, it's this blank piece of my life, where I've hurt someone, or insulted them, or destroyed something. " Haru swallowed.

"Haru…" Kyo's voice was unusually soft. "I don't know what to say—"

"Don't you get it? I've always needed you. You're the one that helps. You're the one that makes both parts of me feel like the same person. I don't feel like I'm split when I'm around you." He wondered how he could bear to reveal this to the cat and then remembered the fear in Kyo's eyes. "With you, there aren't these long blank spaces. Even when I don't remember every event of our fights, it's like the memory is there. I know I've been with you, and that's enough." Haru stepped forward and held out his hand. "I trust you. And if you can find it in yourself to trust me, we can make this work." Please. "Again."

Kyo glanced at Haru's hand, and then at his face, and back to the outstretched hand. He looked so isolated, self-protected. "Haru—" He sounded lost.

"Please. Just one more chance." Haru edged closer, his face full of longing.

There was no expression of relief, not even as Kyo hesitantly gave him his hand, as Haru tugged the other boy close and dropped his head against the cat's shoulder.

"Don't let us mess this up." Kyo whispered.

"We won't." Haru said, with more confidence than he felt, "I won't let us. I won't ever leave you again."

Kyo squeezed his eyes shut, and his body grew rigid, "Don't promise—."

"I won't break this one." Haru whispered into the other's ear, stroking the cat's hair, "I promise."


	10. Chapter 9

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Chapter 9

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Sneaking into the house was an experience in itself.

At least there hadn't been any trouble with finding their way home; Kyo had known the way and led them back easily. They might have tripped a few times, but who could blame them? They were tired, the ground was muddy, and it only grew darker as they neared the house.

By the time they reached the house, they were tired and covered in dirt. Realizing that it was incredibly early in the morning, they exercised all due caution as they let themselves in. For a variety of reasons, neither one wanted to get caught trying to creep into their bedroom. Kyo didn't want anyone to see the redness around his eyes. Bad enough that Haru knew he'd been crying, no-one else needed to figure that out. And, though he wouldn't admit it, he didn't want anyone else intruding on this closeness between them—so he held onto Haru's hand a little bit tighter.

Somehow they managed it without waking anyone. Tip-toeing around in the dark, trying not to bang into anything, holding hands because it was comfortable and easier. Avoiding that first step because it creaked—pausing to listen for any stray sounds every other minute. Finally, they reached their room and slowly eased the door open.

Kyo flipped on the light, blinking rapidly in the brightness and finally letting go of Haru's hand. The skin of his palm felt weirdly warm, and he clenched it spasmodically. What were they supposed to do now?

He turned to look for Haru and had to smile. Apparently, they were going to get ready to sleep. Haru was pulling out pajamas, and Kyo turned away, opening his own drawers. He glanced at the cow out of the corner of his eye and turned away, mortified. Haru was pulling off his shirt, and it bared the expanse of his back appealingly. God, it was nearly disturbing to even allow these feelings. The cat had denied, suppressed, and destroyed any last vestige of feelings he had ever felt for the cow. Determined, at all costs, to protect himself.

So Kyo could understand why Haru had pushed him away.

He just couldn't understand why the ox had come back.

A gentle hand stroked down the line of his back and quiet voice spoke in his ear.

"Oy. Calm down."

Startled, Kyo shot forward, knee painfully colliding with the open shelf. Gritting his teeth and hoping the noise hadn't been loud enough to wake anyone, the cat snarled at the cow, "I was not panicking."

Haru chuckled, "Right. 'Course you weren't." He looked meaningfully at the knee Kyo was clutching, "What's bothering you?"

Kyo hesitated, looking away from Haru's tousled appearance. He searched for the right words…"I—well, it's just. I don't know, how…." They'd both acknowledged their feelings, but where did that leave them?

Haru sighed and lent his forehead against the cat's. "Can't we leave all the reasons we shouldn't be doing this for tomorrow? No school, no homework, no training. We'll go somewhere nice and I'll disprove each and every thought that's making you nervous. For now, I want to go to bed."

Kyo nodded and resisted the urge to sprint to his bed, ready to escape from Haru and his too warm eyes. His stomach clenched uneasily, he had been feeling vaguely sick the entire day—he nearly choked when Haru headed for the same bed as he.

"Ah…Haru?" The cat's voice came out strangled.

"What?" Haru looked back at him, one knee already on the bed, expression absolutely innocent.

"That's my bed." Kyo quickly switched the lights off, determined not to panic about the situation—because Haru would laugh. Maybe the cow would move back to his futon?

"I know it's your bed" There was amusement in the cow's tone, damn it. "…come here." Haru reached for him, and Kyo went, unable to resist when the other teen pulled him to the bed.

Haru carefully arranged the quilt over them, moving Kyo so that the cat lay on his side, with Haru directly behind him. Kyo shuddered, eyes wide in the dark. Barely used to the friendly contact of friends, it was a shock to feel the entire length of Haru's body pressed up behind him.

Okay, it wasn't that bad…in fact, it was far from unpleasant. The other teen was much warmer than the room temperature, and Kyo relaxed into that heat, sleepy. He placed his hand over the arm thrown across his body and tried to shift into a more comfortable position. Somehow, wiggling around, he managed to jab Haru with his elbow. Shit. He tried to move away, and then went rigid as the stupid cow tightened his arm around his ribs, trapping him!

A gentle hand pressed along his side and Kyo shivered. Was Haru going to—? He'd never even been properly kissed—oh god! God, he was such a virgin—he didn't know what to do! Haru had said they would sleep, right? Right!

Haru must have felt the other teen tensing up, because he gently squeezed Kyo's stomach, then loosened his arm. The ox murmured sleepily, hand lazily soothing. "…never dated another guy, you know..." Nuzzled his face into the sensitive skin of Kyo's neck, trying to reassure him. "Calm down…This is new for me too. Just wanna hold you…go to sleep."

Kyo relaxed, sinking tired limbs into the bed. Haru was a warm, comforting presence along his back, and the arm around his midsection felt sort of like another blanket. This was okay—this was good. The cat closed his eyes, and easily fell into sleep.

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Haru woke slowly, lethargic and a little too hot. Trying to move made him realize that Kyo, far from attempting to move away at night, was lying next to him and tightly clutching Haru's arm. The ox nearly laughed, Kyo looked—cute, and attractive, and—it was pretty amazing waking up next to someone you liked, and Haru felt doubly content because it was the cat.

Smiling, he rolled over onto his side, carefully extracting his arm from the cat. He considered getting up, and then caught sight of the little bit of skin showing between Kyo's shirt and pants. It was just too tempting.

He leaned over the other teen, smirking. Reached his fingers out, he gently started tickling the other's ribs, hoping it would wake the cat up. Kyo had always been ticklish. A fact that Haru tried not to exploit for the sake of fair play, but this time he couldn't resist. Then again, the tickling didn't seem to be working.

Hmmm….He snuck his fingers up under the cat's shirt, exposing tan skin as he went. Well, sun-darkened until it turned blue and brown and purple in places. Bruises—all over Kyo's body. What the hell?

Kyo slowly twitched, but Haru's attention was on the cat's torso. He'd already pulled as much of the shirt away as he could, and it was now caught under the cat's arms. He couldn't even focus on the nicely toned muscles there, because—damn, the splotches of bruise marks started at the cat's ribs and only disappeared under the low waistband of his pants.

Kyo swallowed dryly, slowly waking up. His eyes squinted, tried blinking a bit, and then started staring at Haru.

Haru tried to speak calmly, but his words came out edgy anyway. "Why—why are you so bruised?" His face turned dark as he studied the cat's skin a little more carefully. What—was that a scar? Okay, injuries happened—but this was ridiculous, when had all of these happened? And why hadn't Kyo told him?

"Umm—what?" Kyo rubbed his eyes briefly, and then shuddered as he realized Haru was looking at him. "What are you doing!" He tried to jerk away, realized he was trapped, then turned onto his side. Tugging his shirt down hastily, his cheeks abruptly went a bright red.

"C'mon Kyo. Answer the fucking question." Haru was unusually serious for this early in the morning, "What happened?"

Kyo could barely look at the other boy, what the heck had Haru been doing? Baffled, he inched away from Haru's questing fingers. "My bruises? Um, well…they're there…no big deal."

Haru's voice was low in the morning light. "Are they from fighting?" With me?

"Well, yeah." Kyo looked a little confused, and uncomfortable, "I'm plenty clumsy too, but…"

"You never seemed hurt before…"

Kyo's eyes narrowed a bit, "Yeah, well. I get slammed around on a daily basis. Heh—as much as I try, Yuki always seems to end up beating my ass. Even you, despite the fact that I can beat you any day, have given me bruises." He glared at Haru playfully, unaware of the ox's growing unease, "I'm going to have bruises. Hell, I have bruises from practicing alone—"

"I've never seen any of them." The ox's voice was very quiet.

Kyo stared at the other boy unsurely, and Haru shook his head. He didn't want to make a big deal about this, but there were so many...

"Look, Haru. It's okay. I usually heal a lot quicker than this. Must be 'cause I've been sick; it's taking longer…."

"Hm." Haru pulled the other boy towards him, despite the blush that still lingered on Kyo's face, and gently pressed his cheek against Kyo's hair. "I'm sorry…for all those bruises I gave you, and never realized." The feeling welled up in him, painfully stuck in his throat.

The cat's hands tightened convulsively around Haru's arms, a little breath escaping in a sigh. Haru couldn't' see Kyo's expression, so he just held the other teen tighter.

"Thanks…" Kyo's spoke, whisper soft, "For caring about what happens to me."

And that, Haru thought, was exactly what scared him so badly.


	11. Chapter 10

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Chapter 10

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Kyo had no idea where they were going. And that was just a little terrifying—seeing as how the cow was leading them!

They were never going to get wherever they were heading to. Especially with Haru's sense of direction. They were going to end up lost and hungry and cold—like they always did when Haru tried to find someplace. Stomping along angrily behind Haru, Kyo grumbled to himself and directed his glare at the back of Haru's head. Stupid messy black and white mop—didn't the cow own a hairbrush?

"Stop glaring at me, Kyo." Haru's deadpanned voice came floating from ahead of the cat.

Kyo's glare intensified, and he added more force to his footfalls, needing some outlet for his anger. The cow couldn't even see him, Haru just wanted to rile him up a little more. Just a few hours ago, the stupid cow had dragged him downstairs and then forced him to eat breakfast with everyone! The jerk had just smirked while all of them stared at his red face! Even Tohru had politely asked if he was feeling well, and Yuki and Shigure had just sent him more of those damn taunting looks!

And to top it off, Haru hadn't touched him the entire morning! Not after that hug. No hand-holding, no little nudges in his ribs—it was like Kyo was a disease and Haru was staying as far away as possible from him as he could. Was this another instance of his split personality? Kyo rolled his eyes, he knew it couldn't have been the black side last night—Black Haru had distinctly bad attitude and language. Black Haru would never, ever apologize for fighting with him.

Had he done something? Kyo slowed, thinking back over them morning events. Nothing came to mind. He hadn't said anything remotely mean to the cow, just their usual dialogue back and forth. After all, it had been a bit of a relief to separate for awhile as they got ready for the day—too much closeness and something stupid or embarrassing would happen. It had been nice to have their usual argument over jackets—especially after Haru had been so goddamned gentle this morning. Hugging him, and all that.

But, Haru wouldn't just stop…wanting to be around him for no reason. God, what had he done wrong? Kyo curled his fingers into his palms and continued to walk and think. He didn't see Haru stop in front of him.

Haru glanced back at the cat, clearly sensing Kyo's anger. Why the cat was irate, the ox had no clue. He just wanted the cat to walk a little faster; he was finding it hard to resist the urge to grab Kyo's hand and just drag him along.

But he didn't—because, well, Kyo might not want to hold Haru's hand. The ox had no idea if the other teen had dealt with all the confusion of liking someone of the same gender. With Yuki, Haru had had it easy. He'd been too young for anyone to really take his declarations seriously, so he'd escaped the varying reactions of disappointment and disgust. If Kyo's attraction to Haru was recent, the cat might still be dealing with all the ramifications of being—well, now that he thought about it…was Kyo gay, or was he attracted to girls as well? Shit. He hadn't even asked…

Haru sighed, what if the cat was…ashamed, or something like that. The cat was walking pretty far behind, and Haru could feel the unmistakable anger radiating off Kyo. If Kyo was embarrassed—Haru didn't want to know. Other than the fact that it would hurt to confirm something like that, Haru had no idea how to reassure Kyo about these things. Haru looked back again, and nearly missed it as Kyo stumbled. Watching closely he could see the little shudder that ran the full length of the cat's body.

The ox turned quickly, anxiety suddenly clenching in his chest. Was the cat still sick? Kyo had been getting better, right?

Kyo looked up when Haru stopped and his anger faded into puzzlement. Haru's face wasn't remotely angry—wasn't even smirking or teasing. "Why'd we stop? Lost your way?"

"You okay?" Haru asked. The cat looked a little pale, but that attitude was still as healthy as ever.

Kyo paused in front of Haru, carefully searching the other's face for a hidden agenda. Hesitantly, he decided to trust in Haru's concern. A corner of his mouth quirked up, "I'm fine—why?"

Haru stared for a second, the worry in his dark eyes replaced with a gentler emotion. "No reason, really." He leaned forward, smiling a bit, and held his breath in anticipation.

Kyo's half-smile transformed into a hesitant grin, and the ox couldn't help it. Haru kissed Kyo. Quickly, chastely, but still a kiss. The cat's eyes shot open in surprise, and a red stain appeared on his cheeks. Haru smiled against the other's face, chuckled a little, and eased back.

Blushing furiously, Kyo looked away, "What was that for?"

"Mmm….nothing, really. Just felt like it. You blush so easily."

The cat was obviously embarrassed, as he barely reacted to the teasing compliment.

Haru leaned over again, tugging on the other's sleeve, "Did I steal your first kiss, kitty?" He wanted a little reaction, at least. It was the first time they had kissed, after all.

Kyo jerked away, another voice whispering in his head and replacing Haru's—

—'you don't deserve a first kiss, you stupid monster.'

"Shut the hell up!" Kyo's face twisted as he held back the aggression that wanted to follow his words. The cat crossed his arms defensively, snarling as he started walking away.

Haru froze, a little alarmed—had he really hurt the cat's feelings? He jogged to catch up with his boyfriend. "Kyo, come on, I didn't mean it. Nothing to be ashamed 'bout if it was."

"It wasn't," the cat muttered. Posture still hunched away from Haru. But he stopped walking.

"Well, that's fine. I'm not jealous." Much. The ox added silently, standing unsurely a little behind the cat.

"It's not okay," Kyo's voice was extraordinarily quiet, "I wish it had been. My first."

"Hey…" Haru drew the other teen towards him, carefully holding Kyo. The expression on Kyo's face scared him. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." Muttered against his skin, as Kyo hid his face against Haru's neck. "Doesn't matter."

"It's upsetting you."

"I'm okay." The cat gently disentangled himself from Haru, keeping the other's hand close. "Let's go." He brushed his hair out of his face, hand tightening.

Haru knew when to not push, even if he wanted to, so he just nodded. Maybe this peace wouldn't last, but for now, they would be okay. All he could do was hold Kyo's hand a little tighter, and smile and distract the other from whatever he had been thinking of.

Heh, Kyo was easy to distract.

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"Haru, we've seriously been walking the entire day. When are we gonna get there?" Kyo's expression was pitiful. And annoyed.

Haru pursed his lips and nonchalantly looked around. There was absolutely no expression on his face when he turned to the cat, "I…think I missed a street somewhere."

Kyo could even find it in himself to be angry, he was so damn tired. "I knew you'd get lost. Knew it."

"Well. We can double back and try to find—"

"No!" the cat interrupted, "No way…we're going to find the nearest eating place, and sit down and eat! I'll ask for directions."

Haru shrugged and followed after Kyo. The cat was heading towards a petite girl, maybe a few years younger than them. She was one of the few not busy shopping or talking on their cellphone.

Kyo approached the girl; but as he drew closer he stopped, blinking. What the fuck was that—smoke, or smog, or something hovering over the girl's shoulders. Wasn't she too young to be smoking?

Taking a step closer, he never noticed the bruises that marred her thin, pale wrists. He was too busy staring past her face, where that strange little shadow sat on her shoulder, unattached. He reached out to touch it—

And he went blind—

"Mommy?"

Blind—

Dark, and cold, and everything aches, arm twisted unnaturally—and Daddy was coming home soon—

Deaf—

The sound of the door slamming shut, oh god, oh god, he's back and Mommy left you alone with him again-

Numb—

Today, he hit your face by mistake. Your eye hurts and Mom didn't say a thing when she saw the bruise, how could she ignore this, why do they hate you, hate you. You just want it to stop, to stop, please stop-

Kyo yelled, reeling backward, hands clutching his head, over his ears, blocking out the terrible screams in his head.

Stop it!

Blessedly physical pain shot through Kyo's head as he pulled his hair, and he almost sobbed in relief. Slowly his senses returned—God, god…what was that? What was happening to him—those...those memories—feelings? They hadn't been his own.

He dropped, bending over to press his forehead against the rough ground, weakly hearing Haru's worried voice, and still he felt that little girl's fear echo through him again. God, that hadn't been his memory.

It had been the little girl's.


	12. Chapter 11

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Chapter 11

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Haru swore his heart stopped.

When the cat went down like that, clutching his head in pain and moaning like a dying thing—god, it was like his heart lurched to a stop in his chest. He just reacted—ran.

Screamed. "Kyo!"

Clutching at Kyo's arms as he tried to get the cat to look at him, to tell him what was wrong. But Kyo didn't answer—kept pressing brutal fingers into his own forehead, pathetically mewling. Haru shook the cat, yelled at him. "Tell me what's wrong!"

Kyo jerked, pulled his hair, and slowly slid to the ground, letting his head lean against the concrete as if it helped. Pitiful little moans escaping.

"Kyo! Damnit!" His arms went around the cat, supporting the other teen as best he could. People were stopping in the streets now, staring at them. And that little girl, god, she just looked terrified. Haru decided his expression probably didn't differ much from hers.

The cat gasped out something and then listed to the side. Haru's eyes, wide and panicked, took in Kyo's slack face and limp form.

"Kyo?" His voice barely made it past his tight throat. Haru cleared his throat and tried again. Gently shaking the still form, he carefully pulled the cat up so that Kyo's head could rest against his shoulder. The cat was breathing—that was good. Really good. The breaths were evening out, losing their pained edge. God—what—what had happened? Was that what a stroke looked like? Seizure?

Kyo needed a doctor. Haru fumbled for his cell, taking too long because his fingers were stiff with fear and he could only use one arm. The other was supporting Kyo.

Shakily, he dialed Hatori's number and prayed the doctor would pick up. He glanced around, head down. The few people who had witnessed Kyo's fit had disappeared—everyone but that girl.

She knelt across from him, her trembling hands clutched tightly to her chest. Couldn't be much older than eleven. Her eyes were large and scared, and Haru didn't have the heart to tell her to leave. Not when all he really wanted was for Hatori to pick up the damn phone!

Finally, Hatori's voice crackled into life on the line, and Haru explained the situation as best he could. Snapping his cell shut and into his pocket, he carefully hefted the cat into both arms. Before he could lift, the girl timidly touched Kyo's hand—and Kyo jerked, whimpering.

Haru was quick to retaliate, "Don't touch him!" He felt like a bastard when she cringed; tears in her eyes. She backed away, expression stricken. She turned away and escaped as fast as she could.

Haru gritted his teeth, used to it. People generally started screaming and retreating when he went black. Fuck them. He carefully got to his feet, prepared for the cat's weight and ready to move the cat when the doctor arrived. Hatori had said he'd pick them up. God, he hoped the man would hurry.

Haru stared at the cat's face, the fear in his stomach gnawing. He wanted to brush that bit of hair out of Kyo's face, but both hands were occupied. Wanted Kyo to open his eyes and tell him everything was fine. Please be okay.

A black car stopped with a screech of breaks before them, and Hatori stepped out of the driver's side. The doctor hurried to Kyo, efficiently checking vitals before heading back to the car. Haru watched anxiously.

"He seems stable. Let's get him into the car."

Hatori quickly opened the vehicle's door, gesturing impatiently for Haru to get in with the cat.

Haru slid into the backseat, careful not to jangle any part of Kyo's uncoordinated limbs. The car started with a jerk, and Haru clutched the cat tighter, still scared because Kyo was so still—so completely pliable in his arms. He sat, silent in the back of the car, and tried to hope for the best.

Despite the fact that Hatori was more than likely speeding over the limit, the ride seemed to take forever. Haru's arms began to ache, and still he held onto the cat, unwilling to let him go—because, he was scared.

Scared that he might lose Kyo. That, on the crux of a new relationship, it would all end. That they would never get the chance to know each other better…even, maybe, to fall in love. He pulled the cat closer, cradling Kyo's head to his shoulder, breathing in the other's scent. Oh god, he couldn't lose another person he loved. Not like this. Closing his eyes because he hated looking at Kyo's unconscious face—so silent and motionless—Haru focused his hearing on the cat. Kyo's steady breath reassured him, as well as the warmth of Kyo's skin.

"We're here, Haru. Hurry and bring him inside."

He had hardly noticed that they had stopped. With barely a stagger, Haru escaped the confining car and began the walk to Shigure's house. Hatori's house would have been the smarter, easier choice, but Kyo wasn't allowed near the Inner house often. Haru swallowed against the bitterness.

He followed Hatori into the house, and Shigure stood close by, usual grin long gone. The doctor directed him up the stairs, and into Kyo's room.

"On the bed, Haru." Hatori was already slipping on latex gloves, usual white coat in place.

Haru hesitated, loath to let go—but laid the cat down gently. He turned to the doctor, "I'm staying."

Hatori looked up, visible eye hard with determination, "No, you are not. I need to concentrate, and I don't want you in the way. On your way down, send Shigure up."

The ox clenched his hands, and resisted the urge to destroy something. Gritted out. "Please."

"No. Go, now." Hatori turned hid back on the ox, opening his bag. If he hadn't been worried about Kyo, the doctor would have wondered why Haru was so desperate to stay.

The doctor missed the gentle kiss Haru placed on Kyo's forehead right before the ox left the room.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Low voices filtered in through Kyo's tired mind, waking him from whatever blankness he had collapsed into. The murmurs drifted through his thoughts, incoherent and jumbled.

"You're sure…can't be…"

"Of…hell, no…"

"…we can…he…think he's awake…Kyo? Kyo?"

Kyo twitched, flinching away from the loud noise near his ears. He tried to turn his head away and pain shot through his skull, and he shuddered.

The voice turned quiet, soft, "Don't move, Kyo. How do you feel?"

Hatori. It had to be the doctor. What—? Kyo struggled to open his dry mouth, "…like shit."

Careful, gloved hands touched his forehead, and Kyo forced his eyes open. Hatori's pale face swam into view, details strangely blurry.

"You've been out of it for awhile…does you head hurt?" Fingers slipped down to his neck, checking for fever or swelling.

Kyo nodded and flinched with the pain. Ahh—no more movement—

"Nausea? I know you do not want to talk right now, but I need to know how you are feeling."

Kyo froze. Staring over Hatori's shoulder.

As Hatori leant over him, Kyo eyes widened. There was a distinct blob of darkness hovering along the doctor's shoulders. What? The same—that shadow—on the girl. Memories of pain and terror surfaced, alien and strange inside his mind—because they weren't his. Kyo panicked, trying to rise and escape that darkness that had induced such things, struggling away from Hatori.

Hatori started, almost stepping back. He reached for the cat, concerned because Kyo shouldn't be moving just yet.

Kyo flinched, cornered. That thing, the shadow—reached out a tendril towards him, and the cat tried to yell—choked—

Mute—

'I think it would have been better if we had never met.' He was numb, his heart had struggled and ached and grieved for so long and all that was left was emptiness.

Blind—

He could see what he had to do, and he reached out his bare hands, oblivious to the cold. Thoughts broke through—wondered if this was what he deserved—as he touched her tear-stained cheeks. Soft, cold hair.

Helpless—

This was it—this was the end. The end of their love. How was he supposed to go on without her—with the knowledge that she would never remember him, never love him.. His heart rebelled—broke—'Kana' his mind called. Over and over again. 'Kana.'

Kana. The pain reverberated through him, his heart—breaking with the loneliness—"Kana," Kyo cried out softly, tears on his face as he struggled to stay upright. His hand clutched convulsively against his chest. He slipped sideways, and fell into darkness again.

Shigure was the one to catch Kyo, grim-faced and concerned. Both of the adults had heard the name Kyo had spoken.

Hatori stood, arm outstretched in an aborted movement to help the cat, shocked to the core. What had the cat seen? Had Kyo—seen Kana? His eyes widened, and his hand dropped to his side. Shigure looked at him then, and Hatori stared back silently—a certain sadness marring his features.

They shared a look, and the thought crossed both their minds.

Kyo's curse had manifested.


	13. Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

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Haru sat outside Kyo's room, back against the door. He slumped over, head in his hands and elbows on his knees. Wearily, he ran his fingers through his hair again, pressing into the ache at his temples along the way.

Unfortunately, not a single sound could be heard through the stupid door. The fact would have made him grin lecherously—a soundproof room was always a good thing—if the cat wasn't still in there with Hatori and Shigure. It had been two hours already…It would be dinner time soon. Haru grimaced; he couldn't stomach the thought of eating right now.

Why hadn't the two adults come out yet? They had to know Haru was waiting to hear what was wrong with the cat. Was it that bad? Did they not know how to tell him…? Maybe they couldn't leave Kyo's side?

He ran his fingers through his hair again, staring despondently at the wooden floor. Please, he thought, let Kyo be okay.

The weighty silence broke as muffled thumps and conversation floated up from downstairs—apparently, Yuki and Tohru were home. Haru sighed, and rubbed his face briefly.

They came pounding up the stairs, Tohru first, laughing freely with her hair in disarray. Yuki followed at a more sedate pace, jacket still in place, a lone shopping bag in his hands. They both stopped when they caught sight of Haru sitting despondently on the floor.

"Haru?" Tohru asked, laughter abruptly ending. Worry creasing her brow, she asked, "Did you and Kyo fight again?"

Yuki snorted, and Haru had to fight against the unreasonable rage the sound created in him. He was upset enough to lash out at anyone, and he knew that impulse was his black side—so he tried to restrain himself, for Kyo's sake. Didn't want to disturb the cat or the doctor, "No. Kyo…Kyo's sick—it's bad—and Hatori's in there with him." Added, "The dog, as well."

Even Yuki looked surprised at that, and Tohru's eyes widened dramatically. She took a step forward, hands fluttering nervously, "Kyo's sick! What happened? Why did he need Hatori? What's wrong—can I go see him?"

Haru shook his head, looking away from her worry—it echoed too strongly with his own. "I don't know what happened. He…collapsed. And no one's allowed in the room beside them." Haru twisted the fabric at his knees tighter, because god, he wanted to hit something.

Yuki shifted the bag to his other hand and laid a comforting hand on Tohru's shoulder. "It's okay, Tohru. I'm sure he's fine. Probably a reoccurrence of his cold—didn't take proper care of himself."

Haru gritted his teeth.

Tohru looked up at Yuki, expression still anxious, "Do you really think so?" Her hands came together, fingers tangling with each other.

"Of course. The real question to ask," and Yuki looked directly at Haru, "…is why are you so worried?" Despite the politely worded query, the tone was a little too curious.

Haru bit his lip, considering. "…Because I was with him when he collapsed. And it was—" Haru stopped, not wanting to alarm the too-polite girl. Not wanting to remember.

"That doesn't really explain why you're sitting outside his door." Yuki's expression had changed from one of interest to a disbelieving suspicion.

"Because I fucking want to sit outside his door." Haru glared darkly at the two—leave me alone—"He's my friend."

Yuki stared at him, eyes narrowed. Tension escalated, and Haru half-rose. Both boys were jolted out of their staring contest when Tohru clapped her hands together, smiling brightly.

"I didn't know you two had reconciled your differences. I'm so glad!"

Yuki left off the frowning to bestow a fond smile on the always optimistic girl, and Haru turned his glare to the ground. He couldn't even say anything about the fact that he and Kyo were more than friends—he didn't really care if people found out, but Kyo might. And there was always the worry that...rumors might reach Akito's ears.

"Are you going to wait out here all night?" Yuki asked, continuing down the hallway after Tohru, expression mild again.

If I have to. But Haru had enough sense not to say that aloud.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

For the second time that day, Kyo woke with a dull headache.

He really needed to stop passing out.

Mind wandering, he hesitantly tried to replay the last bit of memories he had. An image of a shadow—reaching for him—and Kyo jerked awake. His eyes shot open, searching the room frantically. What if that shadow thing tried to touch him again? He scanned the room, movement to his right catching his eyes.

Hatori rose from his chair, calmly approaching the cat. Kyo looked wide awake, and more than a little scared. The doctor found he couldn't blame him. "Kyo? How's the headache?"

The cat cringed away, eyes instantly going to the doctor's shoulder to check for anything strange. There was nothing. Thank god. Maybe he had been hallucinating.

But then, what were those—memories. Foreign memories…of that woman. Kana? Those were definitely not his, he'd never met the women before—let alone loved her.

The bed dipped, and Kyo found that Hatori's expression was not one he was quite comfortable with. The dragon looked—almost sad. Regretful, maybe.

Kyo hated that his voice scratched as his words emerged, "What's wrong with me?"

Hatori answered with a question, typical. "Can you tell me what you experienced—right before you passed out."

Kyo hesitated, and closed his eyes briefly, the thought of those painful memories leaving a residual ache inside him. Was that what it was like to lose the love of your life? "Memories, I think."

"Could you clarify that?" Hatori's voice was quiet, face completely serious.

Kyo looked up weakly, suddenly wishing that the cow was in the room with him. Haru's face made him feel better, and if the stupid cow would touch him—just hold his hand—Kyo would feel somewhat reassured. "The things I saw…don't really make sense. From…you, and that little girl. I—I keep seeing these…visions, or memories, something when I touch—" he hesitated, "—people . It's as if a memory hits me, and I'm experiencing it."

Hatori cast a surprisingly helpless look to the other side of the room, and it was then that Kyo noticed Shigure. The dog was leaning against the wall; he seemed to be brooding. Shigure looked up, sighed gustily, and pulled Hatori's chair up to Kyo's bed.

Kyo swallowed heavily, worried now. Both of the adults had matching looks of pity on their faces—and pity was never good. "What is it? Am I okay?"

Shigure began, scratching his neck a little nervously, "Well…health-wise, you're going to be fine. But…" The dog trailed off into silence.

At least those scenes that he had witnessed, from Hatori and that little girl, seemed muted and much weaker when he thought back on them. It no longer felt like his emotions. Kyo could look at them properly without flinching with the pain of them. But still, he didn't understand why this was happening to him. Scared and ashamed of his fear, Kyo ground out, "The memories…they're…not mine." He carefully didn't look at the doctor.

"Yeah, well, about that." The dog cleared his throat, looking uncomfortably at Hatori, then back at Kyo, "It's…another part of the curse, another part of being a member of the Zodiac."

Kyo looked from the dragon back to the dog, neither one looked like they were joking. "What do you mean? We all see random scenes from the past? When those dark things—come in contact with us?"

"Dark things?" Hatori frowned.

"Those shadow things—they're gone now—that were on your shoulders…the memories only started when…I touched the dark things."

"Ah…I suppose," and Hatori didn't look at all sure about what he was about to say, "they are just the physical representations of the things you can see, Kyo."

There was silence for awhile, as Kyo tried not to think of the headache that plagued him, and Hatori and Shigure waited for the eventual tirade that would come.

"I don't understand. Nobody ever mentioned another part of the curse." Kyo was staring at his quilt covered knees, so he missed the guilt that crossed both of older men's features.

The dog sighed, "We all have a…certain ability…that comes with our curse. It's random—doesn't follow a code or co-exist with our animal. There are twelve recorded abilities. In the legend."

Kyo was silent, and the two wished that the cat's hair wouldn't conceal his eyes so well.

Hatori spoke to break the uncomfortable silence, "My ability is well-known. I can, erase certain memories, as you know."

Kyo looked up then, eyes unfathomable. "Like you had to do to that woman? Who you loved." He was past caring if his knowledge made Hatori uncomfortable.

The doctor swallowed, and for the first time in years, a lump came to his throat, To hear it spoken so…"Yes. Exactly like that."

"Did you know this would happen? Why wasn't I warned?"

Hatori moved away from Kyo's bed, using the excuse of getting another chair to escape the teen's angry glare. "I suspected that your illness might be pre-manifestation

symptoms—but there hasn't ever been a cat with a second curse."

Kyo only needed a moment to understand. "So Akito decided not to tell me, right?" He didn't expect either of the two to answer.

Shigure's face closed off, but he answered steadily enough, "That's right."

"Because I'm the cat." The words sounded ugly coming from Kyo's mouth—resigned and numb and sounding like the denial of a shock victim.

Because we were jealous, thought the doctor. But he didn't say that, instead, he dragged his chair across the room to sit as well.

"Does Yuki have an ability?" Asked quietly, subdued. It didn't occur to him to ask about Shigure's curse.

"Of course." Shigure laughed, but his eyes were careful, hesitant, "Ever wondered how the 'prince' is so strong? Doesn't look the type, does he?"

What? "What! That's not fair! Why couldn't I get something useful like that?" Kyo snarled and clenched his hands in his lap. So that was how the rat had defeated him so easily…when they were younger they had seemed on much more even ground— "I don't want other people's memories!"

Hatori shifted uneasily, "We…don't actually know what you're ability is, Kyo. There's never been a thirteenth manifestation, and granted, we can't eliminate all. The manifestations don't coincide with the animal. We all thought that we knew the twelve abilities—they change animals every generation. Haru, Hiro, and Kisa don't have theirs yet—"

"Why not?" Kyo interrupted, attention caught. Haru didn't have one. Kyo's eyes strayed to the door, and he wondered where the stupid cow was…wondered if Haru had even cared?

"They're too young. One only receives the second curse when they mature. Somewhere in their teens…we had no idea that yours would manifest as well."

Kyo threw off the covers and stretched his legs. "The shadows…I can't see them now. Will they stay away?"

Hatori shifted, "Ah…no, unfortunately. I—gave you some…drugs, that would suppress it…but the medicine is addictive," The doctor swallowed hard, "and I can't allow you more. You—you'll have to learn to live with it. I…I am truly sorry. We might be able to teach you to control it. Since my ability also deals with memories…I could try to help you."

Kyo looked at the doctor for a moment and then turned his face away. "I don't want your help."

Kyo wanted to destroy something—or cry. He wasn't quite sure which.

Whatever he did, he wanted the other two members of the zodiac out of his room. Turning to them, he caught their expression, and his hands clenched involuntarily. They were looking at him, that fucking pity written all over their faces—but disgust was there too. They didn't know what he was. Once again, he was the strange one, the abnormal one.

Growling out obscenities under his breath, Kyo slammed his feet out of the bed, sitting up quickly. His head swam at the movement, blackness threatening, but god, he wanted out of here. He couldn't stand the way they were both looking at him.

"Kyo!" Hatori moved to get up, even as Shigure remained seated, "You shouldn't be moving so soon after—"

The cat shoved past Hatori, "I feel fine. Fucking leave me alone. Bastards."

They didn't move to stop him as he slammed open the door.

Of course, Haru was on the other side of that door.


	14. Chapter 13

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Chapter 13

;:::

A startled yelp alerted Kyo to the fact that someone was just outside his door. The cat paused, snarled, and then slammed the door shut with an echoing bang. He glared briefly at the doorway. What kind of fucking idiot sat outside a closed door? With a vicious anger, he hoped it was Yuki.

Kyo headed for the window and stood there, staring out into the sky. His back to the two adults, he spoke quietly, "Get out. Get the hell out of my room." His muscles tensed as he waited for them to follow his demands. It wasn't like running away was an option—who knew when those drugs would wear off…

They left. Silently. Kyo could feel the weight of their stares on the back of his neck and he ground his teeth until he could feel it in his temples.

The door clicked shut—Kyo bitterly wished for a lock—

And then the door abruptly blasted open again, hitting the opposite wall with a loud thud. Kyo whipped around, surprised to see Haru in the doorway. The cow had one arm outstretched, palm flat on the door, and his face was dark with anger.

"You—You just hit me with your damn door, and then you slam it in my face!" Haru stormed into the room, and Kyo instinctively backed away. Shit, the stupid cow had been sitting—he must have been waiting…Kyo paused, distracted. Had he been …worried?

The ox cornered the cat against the window, pushing their bodies as close as he dared. All his anxiety snapped outward in anger, and he stared resentfully at the cat's pale features.

Kyo winced, wondering if Haru was going to hit him—but no sudden blows came. He glanced up and watched as the anger slowly bled from Haru's face, a sudden expression of worry blooming over the other boy's features. The tension drained from the ox as suddenly as it had come.

"Are…you okay? You—you don't look well enough to be out of bed." There were so many other questions swirling around in his head, and Haru was surprised that this one came out first. He pressed his lips together as if to keep the others in.

Kyo's arms came up, not to pull Haru any closer, but to push him away. The ox retreated reluctantly.

"Kyo, tell me what's wrong." Maybe it was really bad, maybe Kyo—

The words spilled from Kyo's mouth, "The second curse. It…mine manifested. That's why I've been so sick—and why I passed out."

Haru's expression went incredibly blank for a moment. He stared, paused, and then his brows crinkled with confusion. "I—I had no idea the cat—that you—had to deal with that shit. God, Kyo. That's fucked up."

Kyo shook his head at Haru's concern. "Yeah, well…neither did I. Haru…" the cat hesitated, uncharacteristically avoiding looking in the ox's direction, "I think…you should go back to…the Main House."

There was a momentary silence throughout the room. Haru shook his head, his eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you mean? Is this because I didn't tell you about the second curse—Kyo, I don't even think about it that much."

Kyo's face turned away, looking out through his window, "It's not that. I think we —shouldn't—" It was clear that the cat was struggling to find the right words, "try to be more than friends."

Haru froze. Carefully schooled his face so it wouldn't show how much those words hurt and tried to figure out what had caused this. "Not that I'm agreeing or anything, but…what the fuck led to this decision?"

Kyo's voice was agonizingly quiet in the hushed room, "I don't—I don't want you to get involved in this mess. I'll probably have to go see Akito—there's only so long until…my curse…gets out. I can't take those drugs—and I can't control it. He'll find out, and I…I don't know what he'll do then."

Haru stepped beside Kyo, careful that he didn't touch, "Stop being idiotic. We're not…" He wanted to use the term breaking up, but the words didn't seem to do justice to the threads unraveling inside of his chest. "I'm not leaving you. Not for this."

"Haru," and Kyo's finally turned to look at the other boy, eyes wide with something close to terror, "You have to. You've done it before—you need to do it now, before—before—"

Haru reached out to touch, expecting the cat to move away. But Kyo stilled under his hands, barely breathing. Haru stroked his thumb along the cat's cheekbone, hand nearly shaking, but his voice came out strong, "Before what? Before you actually learn to care about me?"

The words, not his touch, caused Kyo to jerk away. "Shut up! You don't—you don't get it. There's nothing I…Haru, we don't have a future. I'm the cat. Akito …he's going…" Kyo fell silent.

The distance between them wasn't much, but Haru felt it like a steel wall. Kyo wouldn't let him get any closer, and he wasn't quite sure what to say to bridge that distance. But, he was almost certain he knew what this was about. "Kyo…I never really told you why I...abandoned you when we were young."

Kyo glanced up, surprised into eye contact because of the change of subject.

"You thought…that I left because I wanted to be Yuki's friend…but truthfully," Haru swallowed, "I just knew it would be safer to be Yuki's friend."

Kyo drew back suddenly, arms coming up defensively, face stricken. The cat didn't say a word—

Shit. Haru grimaced; he hadn't meant it like that. Safer. He rushed to explain. "…Safer, because I could guarantee he'd be around…You see, I overheard more than just Yuki's story that day, I also found out...that you were to be locked away after graduation." Haru's voice shook suddenly. But he clenched his hands and forced himself to look at Kyo.

Kyo stared back, looking so fucking expectant—he didn't really believe that Haru cared—and Haru just wanted this over with. Wanted to be able to go to Kyo and hold the other boy. He forced himself to continue. "The truth is. At that age…I couldn't handle being your friend. I couldn't bear caring for you, if you were to be taken from me in the end. I thought…I kept telling myself that I couldn't protect you, Kyo." Haru took a shaky breath and closed his eyes for a moment, "…and that meant I couldn't protect myself either."

Kyo's hands twitched towards Haru, as if he wanted to go to the other boy. But he remained by the window, chest moving rapidly, uncertainty staining his eyes.

"I used to think I was useless. That I was stupid—that I couldn't do anything right. But I'm not that little kid anymore. I won't run away this time. It's scary, knowing I'm…falling for you when this could be so easily taken away from me. But it's worth it. Kyo," Haru felt the desperation behind his words, and he stared at the cat's face, "What's between us, that's worth the risk. I believe we'll figure it all out…if you'll just take that risk with me."

Kyo chanced a glance at the other boy, and their eyes caught and held. Haru moved forward and stood in front of the cat.

"I think…" Kyo forced a shaky little smirk, "that's the most you've ever said to me without being black." He began to turn away, but Haru caught the movement with his hand, tangling his fingers in Kyo's hair and forcing the other boy to face him.

"Don't." Not after all he'd offered up to assuage Kyo's fears …

Kyo swallowed, and his expression spoke apprehension even as he leaned his face closer, and breathed, "You're right. You're worth that risk. We're…worth it."

Haru nodded, throat tight, and tilted Kyo's face towards his own and pressed their lips together. Tightened his fingers in Kyo's hair and didn't let go even after their kiss ended.

"Don't try and push me away, okay? Just…stop trying to make me run." Haru said seriously, eyes closed as if he couldn't look at Kyo's response.

Kyo wrapped his arms around Haru suddenly, clinging tightly and pressing his face against the other's shoulder. He didn't answer, but Haru understood.

They stood like that, content in each other's embrace, and tried not to imagine what the worst outcome could be.

:::::

"What do you think is going on up there?" Hatori asked, neatly sitting at Shigure's dining table.

The dog shrugged, as if the matter was inconsequential, and dropped two teabags into the boiling water on the stove. "Who knows…"

"I was under the impression that Haru and Kyo do not get along. Why did you decide to put them in the same room? Surely Yuki's room was a better choice…"

Shigure slowly poured the red liquid into two cups. As the steam billowed, he calmly asked, "You remember how…the last year of college…we three roomed together in that dingy little flat?"

Hatori nearly dropped the pen he'd been fiddling with, astonishment jerking at his reflexes. What a random time to mention that. Somehow, he managed to retain his grasp on utensil. "…of course."

"Well," and Shigure's voice was suddenly as serious as his still fingers, "I thought that Kyo and Haru could use some close quarters to stop their…rivalry."

Hatori's eyes went wide, and this time the pen dropped from his fingers. He didn't try to retrieve it. "You're joking?"

"Not even remotely."

"Have you lost your mind?" Hatori rose from his seat, "I expect some level of idiocy from you, but this—you think that Kyo and Haru…"

"…could be more than friends, yes. Two sugars, right?"

Hatori had to stop trying to make sense of it—instead, he stared at Shigure's back.

"I'd forgotten…you don't take your tea with sugar anymore, do you. Why is that, I wonder?" Shigure turned around, a mug of steaming liquid in each hand. Expression bland and lightly amused.

"You are crazy," Hatori repeated. "I thought, after last time, you would have learned not to meddle."

"Last time?" Shigure's smile never wavered, "Why Hatori, last time was all your fault. Not mine."

Hatori's expression suddenly went icy, and he ducked his head so that his hair fell to cover his blind eye. For a moment, he stared at Shigure's face with something close to hatred. Without another word, he grabbed his briefcase and left the room.

Shigure stared after him for a moment and then sighed as he heard the screen door bang shut. He shouldn't have said that last comment. Especially now. Kana must have already been on Hatori's mind since Kyo mentioned her name. The dog wilted a little and set the two mugs down. After a brief thought, he poured his own tea down the sink—he didn't feel much like drinking his usual sweet brew.

Besides, he deserved a little bitterness.

Taking a sip, Shigure sat down at the table, ready to relax the afternoon away. It was only then that he looked up.

And caught sight of Yuki standing in the kitchen doorway, looking like he'd just been slugged in the stomach.

Movement halted, tea half-way to Shigure's mouth. He sat the cup down with a thud.

"Uhh…just how much of that did you hear?"


	15. Chapter 14

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Chapter 14

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"So…how much of that did you hear?"

Yuki stared back at the dog...unable to even answer. Haru…and Kyo?

"Well…there's no reason to look at me like that. I was joking…of course."

Yuki didn't believe a word the dog was saying. Shigure's grin was much too glib for the truth. But the dog, for some reason, didn't want Yuki to know about…

God. His brain practically stalled as he tried to comprehend what the dog had implied.

Haru and Kyo…no way. No way in hell.

"So, I'm off. Got a document to hide from my editor, and all…" The dog cleared his throat, a distinctly shifty look in his eyes. Yuki made sure his expression was quite neutral. If the dog didn't want to know that Yuki suspected, then the dog could run off in peace.

"I have homework." Yuki replied curtly and headed up the stairs—but not to his room. He'd check on the cat and maybe ask him a few questions.

It just couldn't be. No way. No matter if Haru had been sitting outside the cat's room for the last two hours—that didn't mean anything. God, it couldn't. It just wasn't possible.

Yuki hesitated outside the cat's door. It was obvious that the two were in there—alone. The rat swallowed nervously. There couldn't be anything going on between the two.

After all—Haru wouldn't date a guy, let alone the cat. All that joking about loving Yuki—well, that had been. Haru messing with everyone's head, right? He'd dated Rin, hadn't he? Not to mention the fact that Kyo couldn't go an entire conversation without arguing, especially with Haru.

Still Yuki hesitated, should he knock?

No, the cat never knocked when he barged into rooms. Why should Yuki?

Yuki eased the thick door open, carefully turning the knob all the way so that the mechanism wouldn't make any noise as it opened. At first glance, the room seemed empty. But no—

Yuki's breath stopped.

Haru and Kyo were on the bed. Together.

Yuki stared, stunned into immobility. He literally couldn't believe what he was seeing. No way. No way was this happening.

Haru was on top of the cat, and the two were kissing.

They were kissing. On the cat's bed…

Yuki's stunned eyes stayed locked on the pair, taking in details even as his mind blanked.

Haru was obviously using his better position to hold the cat down, because Kyo looked as if he was trying to get out from under Haru. The cat arched upwards, fingers digging into Haru's back, one hand dangerously close to the narrow gap of skin between Haru's hemline and pants.

Yuki couldn't quite catch a glimpse of where their mouths connected—but god, it was obvious they were kissing.

If something this lewd could be called kissing.

They parted for a moment, Haru moved his mouth to Kyo's neck and the cat turned his face for a moment, eyes screwed shut in a pained look of pleasure. Yuki gaped—Kyo's face was flushed and his mouth was wet and red he could hear them both gasping—and oh my god, this was so wrong. He should leave.

But he didn't. Maybe it was the shock—but he didn't try to leave.

Haru's hand snaked in between the two of them—Yuki's eyes followed the movement with something akin to terror in his stomach—and Kyo's eyes went wide. For a moment, all Yuki could see in the cat's face was glazed pleasure, but a strange stillness caught the cat's limbs. The cat's eyes stopped on Yuki's face.

Haru glanced up at Kyo's face—concerned, Yuki noted distantly—and Kyo shoved the other boy away from him. Haru nearly tumbled off the bed, frustration written on his face—until he caught sight of Yuki in the doorway—

Haru's face went blank and then suddenly animated into shock, "Shit! What the hell, Yuki—" Haru yelled and seemed to choke on his own anger.

Kyo's entire body seemed to flush with fury and embarrassment. "Get the fuck out! You rat—"

Yuki didn't wait around to see more—he slammed the door shut and escaped down the hallway.

God, he was locking himself in his room.

And never looking either of the two in the face again.

Kyo and Haru.

What the fuck?

::::::

The room was agonizingly silent for a long time.

Kyo was the first to break into movement, striding to the closed door as if he could go back in time and shut it again. "Oh my god." Kyo moaned, forehead against the door. For a moment he rested there and then suddenly banged his fist against the wall. "Oh my god."

Haru was suspiciously silent.

Kyo banged his head on the door—face a brilliant red. His heart was beating suspiciously fast, and he wasn't even sure it was all because of Yuki. "He saw us."

When the cow didn't answer, Kyo forced himself to turn around.

Haru was sitting on the end of the bed, face incredibly shadowed and hands clenched tight. He wasn't staring at anything particular. Maybe the floor.

Kyo's panic banked a little in the face of Haru's silence. He slunk back towards the other boy and tentatively touched the tips of his fingers to the ox's shoulder. He hesitated, not used to having to ask. "Eh…Haru, you okay?"

Haru visibly started, but he continued to stare at the floor. "No." He said quietly. Then his voice suddenly rose, "Goddamn it. No, I am not okay!" He shot out from under Kyo's touch. Stalked across the room and violently kicked a chair into a wall. It hit the wall with a loud thud—light blue paint flaked off at the point of contact. Haru whirled around to face the cat again.

Kyo rubbed his wrist, unconsciously fidgeting. He was used to an angry Haru-but he had no idea why the cow was so bitter.

Haru glared at nothing, "Fuck! What if he tells Akito?"

The cat froze, a chill running down his spine. Something went still inside him with dread. "You…you don't think he would…" Kyo whispered. He sat down, his legs suddenly too weak to support him. For a little while, he focused on breathing.

"I don't know!" Haru said, panic leaking into his anger, "I—god…we…"

There was a little moment of silence, and Kyo knuckles were white against his skin. Akito. He tried not to panic. No…god, oh god, please….

"…Hey…Kyo…" Haru's voice suddenly gentled, "we'll go talk to him. Don't…"

Haru's bare feet appeared in the cat's line of vision. Kyo raised his head, trying to breathe evenly. The rat…wouldn't…

"It'll be fine. Let's go…talk to Yuki now. Alright?" Haru brushed a messy bit of hair out of Kyo's face. Reached down to grasp Kyo's hands. They were warm around the cat's.

"Yeah…"Kyo agreed, a little numbly. He rose, and Haru gently let go of Kyo's hands. They stood staring at each other, just for a moment. Haru lifted up a corner of his mouth in a small smile.

"Um…Kyo." There was the definite sound of a tease somewhere in that innocent face.

"What?" Kyo snapped out, trying to recover his equilibrium. Trying to muster up some anger so the rat wouldn't see his embarrassment.

"You might want to zip up your pants." The beginnings of Haru's smile turned into a full-fledged smirk.

Kyo looked down—and blushed, hard. "Jerk." He muttered, embarrassment making his whole face hot. He did up his pants and refused to think about why they were undone. Leave that for later, when he could get the stupid cow back. "Bastard."

Haru snickered.


	16. Chapter 15

Author's Note (**Important**) To anyone who was following this story, I sincerely apologize for the unofficial hiatus this story went on. I recently looked at this, and since nearly two years have passed, felt that the story need a bit of an overhaul. The chapters most affected by my editing are the first four, after that, they remain fairly similar, simply bumped up one.

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Chapter 15

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The walk to Yuki's room felt like a dirge march.

Kyo was deathly silent at Haru's side, face still a shade too pale, eyes moving in panicked jerks. The urge to grab Kyo and kiss him until all those little half-fears fled was pretty strong, but Haru restrained himself admirably.

The thought that Akito might find out…well, that was enough to effectively dampen any sort of happy emotion inside of the ox.

God, if Akito found out…

Haru couldn't even think of it. It had been bad enough with Rin—and that hadn't been anything like his relationship with Kyo. After all, Rin was, well, a girl, for one thing. But more importantly, she was part of the Inner zodiac. While Akito might have been absolutely livid to find out that members of the Inner house were involved, it would be nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to his rage if he found out about Kyo and him. No one was allowed to interact with the cat.

It wasn't like Akito had ever explicitly stated that the cat was to be left alone…but the fact remained that everyone shied away from the cat because of Akito's influence. Because Akito had publicly denied the cat entry into the Main House, the members of the Inner zodiac, afraid of Akito's wrath, had copied the head's isolation tactics, though in a more subtle way.

It really wasn't obvious, Haru mused. Yes, there was a long-standing order that they all stay away from the cat, but honestly, that could have been worked around. Akito stayed in the main house, often too sick to venture out, and the members of the zodiac had always been secretive.

The cat had once been part of them.

But no longer. It wasn't Akito's overt commands to leave the cat alone, it was the understated things. Like the fact that Haru's friendship with Yuki had been encouraged (while his tentative friendship with the cat ignored or ridiculed). The fact that none of the adults ever looked at Kyo, except Shishou-san. And maybe Shigure and Hatori, but that was practically their job.

Yuki's door was shut. Haru shook off his heavy thoughts and tentatively knocked.

Silence answered his polite knock, and Haru growled a little to himself. Kyo was still hovering anxiously somewhere behind him, probably trying to pull up a front of anger, so that Yuki didn't see anything more than that. The cat hated being at a disadvantage to the rat.

Haru knocked again, a little harder. "Yuki? Err…could we talk to you?" He was holding onto his white persona as hard as he could.

There was a strangled thud from inside the room, and Yuki's muffled voice came through, "No! Go away, I'm…doing homework."

Haru nearly laughed out loud, sounded more like the rat was hiding under his bed—the coward. Choking back his amusement, he tried again, "C'mon, Yuki. Just a quick word?"

There was a bit of a scuffle, a moment where Haru could feel the dark anger getting the better of him, and then the doorknob turned, and the ox shook away his resentment. Or buried it.

"What?" Yuki's said through gritted teeth, eyes studiously tracking a dust mote across the hardwood floors.

"Um…well…" Haru took a long breath, apprehension still harsh in his throat. There was too much at stake to mess this up, and while he didn't think Yuki would say anything about them—one never really knew just how much control Akito had over another member of their house. "You know you can't say anything, right?"

A vein the Yuki's jaw pulsed ever so slightly, his eyes narrowing as well. "I won't." He said, the word barely understandable because he was holding his jaw so tight.

"You better not," The cat hissed, looking irritably prickly.

"Don't worry," Yuki said, "I don't ever want to think about you two, like that, again. In fact, I'm hoping if I do enough math repetitions, it'll somehow erase the stupid, disgusting memory from of my mind and I'll be able to think without wanting to puke!"

The door slammed shut, and Haru stepped back bemusedly. "Guess we don't need to worry about Akito, then?" He asked rhetorically.

Kyo shrugged, eyes downcast. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and Haru could tell he was trying to calm down. "But…when Akito does find out…"

Haru reached out to tug the cat close, barely even registering the usual resistance Kyo gave, just to be stubborn. He almost had the cat in hugging distance, but then he made a fatal mistake.

He grabbed the hand with Kyo's bone-beads on them, his fingers just a little too close to the wrist, too close to Kyo's talisman, and the cat jerked away, accusation apparent in his amber eyes.

"Aw…c'mon, don't be like that. Wasn't going to mess with your bracelet." Haru sneered softly, a little angrier than he'd thought he'd be. God, he needed to calm down.

"Whatever," Kyo grumbled, trying to act nonchalant and failing miserably. "I don't care what you were trying to do." He stalked off down the hallway and disappeared around the corner. Haru rather thought that if Kyo was an actual cat, his tail would be sticking straight up—just to show how irritated Kyo was. A warning flag for rats and cows alike.

Of course, Haru wasn't bothered by such warnings. He figured that was just the nature of a cat—after all, what sort of cat came and cuddled a stranger (or a boyfriend…) willingly? Only one that was thoroughly domesticated, and Kyo would never be that. Haru followed the cat, sighing when he saw the open window. What was with the cat and his obsession with heights?

Hadn't he ever heard of the cat that got stuck in the tree?

In truth, Haru hated heights (really, it was much better to be close to the ground, two legs firmly planted on soil) and rarely ventured past the third floors of buildings. Let alone sitting on rooftops, with no barrier between one and an open fall.

Haru shuddered but bravely clambered out the windowsill. Kyo was sitting not ten feet away, and Haru felt a slow grin work itself on his face. The cat looked so damn cute, arms wrapped around himself to keep the cool air away, shivering violently, because of course, Kyo hadn't brought a coat up here on the roof.

Haru sighed playfully, and scooted up behind the cat. Employing his quick reflexes, he had his arms wrapped tight around the other boy just a few seconds later, controlling the startled jump from the cat. Haru decided not to mention the girly shriek Kyo had emitted—no need to antagonize his cat; especially not when Kyo was only now gingerly deciding to lean back into Haru's embrace.

"Uh…?"

"Yeah?" Haru asked, nuzzling the cat's oh-so-delicious neck. The soft skin goose-bumped, and Haru smiled slyly.

"What are you doing?"

"Spending time with my boyfriend, why?"

Kyo shuddered deliciously under that statement, and Haru dared to slide his cold fingers under Kyo's shirt, pressing them into the cat's warm flanks.

"Hey!" Kyo objected weakly, squirming. He turned his head as much as he could, and shot a death-glare at the cow. "Don't you dare—"

Okay, he hadn't thought to tickle the cat, but—Haru grinned fiercely and suddenly twitched his fingers.

Kyo literally yelped and twisted, trying to get away and trapped by the confines of the roof and Haru's legs. "Bastard! You—hey—" Kyo's laughter kept emerging through his annoyance, and Haru thought it was adorable (not to mention amusing) so kept randomly wiggling his fingers.

Finally, the cat seemed to get tired of Haru's game and insistently caught at the cow's hands. "Stop—St-stop" Kyo gasped, finally removing Haru's hands and slumping back against Haru when the threat was gone. "Bastard." He grumbled and held tight to the cow's hands.

"So, am I getting back my hands then?"

"Nope." Kyo said, self-satisfied smirk written all over his words.

"Okay, then." Haru deftly twisted his palms until they could clutch Kyo's hands just as fiercely and then manhandled the cat's arms back towards him. Kyo chuckled, but didn't resist, despite the fact that he easily could have.

Haru trapped the cat's hands behind his back, holding both thin wrists in one hand, and using the other to carefully turn Kyo's face to him. The playful smile faded from Kyo's face, and Haru rubbed his nose against Kyo's chin, trying to bring back that light to the cat's expression.

"Don't get mad, okay." Haru breathed, still keeping a gentle grip on the cat's arms, "but it's been bothering me, and I…I just need to know…to satisfy my curiosity."

"Didn't you ever hear that curiosity killed the cow?" Kyo asked, half-smirk still on his face, eyes decidedly wary. At least his tone hadn't gone defensive, and he was still blindly leaning against Haru. Haru chose to see this as a good sign.

"I thought that was a cat?" Haru teased mildly, letting Kyo's hands go. As long as the cat looked willing enough to listen, well, Haru was willing to bet that the cat would hear him out without resorting to his fists to defend himself. Haru forced his question out. "I just don't get it. Why do the beads," and he couldn't help but glance at the red and white beads encircling Kyo's wrist, "prevent you from changing…?"

Kyo did tense at that. Eyebrows drawing together, pain entering that gorgeous face. Haru regretted it; he knew the topic was an excruciatingly touchy one for the cat, but he needed to know. Needed to be able to protect the other boy if worse came to worse. When the time came, Haru was going to do everything in his power to keep the cat from being trapped in that damn room.

"No…" Kyo hesitated, "it's more—" and Haru could tell the other boy was trying to figure out how to explain, and the fact that Kyo trusted him enough warmed him, "well, it makes me…think that I can't transform with it on. That I can only change when the beads are off."

"What do you mean?"

"I—it—my father trained me, on those rare times that I saw him, to refuse a change when they're on."

"Wait—what?" Haru's brows furrowed, "Weren't you using them before you were five?"

"Yeah," Kyo turned his face away for a moment, "when I was small, the beast …would come out whenever I was angry. My father," and here, Kyo hesitated, "would …make…me angry, make me change, and take away the beads at the same time. So they became the symbol I associated with my human form, and now…" the cat's eyes grew impossibly dark, "well, I guess Shigure isn't the only one who acts like a dog. Sometimes that's all I think I am, a house-trained pet."

Haru swallowed, something aching inside of him at the bitterness in Kyo's voice, at the slow revealing of exactly how Kyo's so-called father had treated him. "Doesn't that mean you don't need the beads, then, to really control the monster?"

Kyo stiffened. "Shut the fuck up." He hissed and tried to get up, and Haru realized that he had said the wrong thing again.

"Hey, hey." Haru struggled to pull the cat back, feeling a brief sense of vertigo at struggling on a roof, this far from the ground-please don't let us fall, he thought, "I didn't mean anything by that. I just wanted to know." He turned the other boy's face to his and gave in to his growing urge "everything," and dropped a sweet kiss on Kyo's lips, "about" and another, "you."

Kyo's eyes fluttered, something like relief in his eyes, and he settled back into Haru's embrace.

Haru felt content for once, the cat warm in his arms. For now, arguing could wait. The past could wait, and the future as well.

After all, he had a lot to teach the cat about. Cuddling was just the first of many things he couldn't wait to coax Kyo into trying.


	17. Chapter 16

Warnings: Sexual content, please mind the rating, and if you would rather not read anything explicit, stop reading when Haru asks, "Can I touch you?" to Kyo. It's fairly innocent frottage/mutual masturbation, but please be aware.

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Chapter 16

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The next day dawned bright and clear, the weather surprisingly warm for a fall day. Haru took one look out the window, saw the happy sunshine, and decided to take the day off. From school, that is.

He might have been able to fake being sick, but honestly, Haru just didn't want to go to school. Anger roiled unpleasantly beneath his skin, and he knew that one wrong word would set him off. Maybe Kyo's admittance had finally sunk in; maybe he was so fucking angry that he hadn't been there to protect—

He spent most of his day at the dojo, skillfully avoiding Shishan's probing questions and working his anger our on the stuffed, upright practice cylinders. He carefully did not think about Kyo, who had still been deeply asleep when Haru had woken up.

If nothing set him off he should be fine by nightfall. His alter-ego was a faint taste at the back of his throat. He could recognize the feeling, the way it lurked, the way it fought underneath his skin. Haru even knew how to trigger it. Getting someone to punch him usually worked.

Today, every time his thoughts wandered to Kyo he felt the beast stirring. It was nearing evening and he was exhausted. Haru was just congratulating himself on controlling his other side, thinking that this was probably one of his more successful moments of—

When, of course, Kyo showed up.

Highlighted by the dim sunlight, a little hesitancy in his posture, the cat painted quite the appealing figure. Too bad half of Haru wanted to strangle him for only now showing up and the other half was busy wondering how much shit he had really missed after abandoning Kyo to chase after Yuki.

He had been an idiot when he was younger, and his black side was well in accordance with that thought. And when his other side was angry—anger led to very long, very dark, periods of absence for his usual mind.

"Hey." Kyo said, hands against the door frame.

Haru debated not answering. Decided against it. "How was school?"

Kyo's fingers slowly left the door frame, as he entered the room. "Didn't go. I don't—don't want to deal with all this second curse bullshit." The cat paused, took in Haru's haggard appearance, "Guess you've been here all day…want to…do you want to—"

"I'm busy." Haru took the chance to interrupt. Even Kyo's hesitance was upsetting him. He felt guilty and miserable and he wanted the cat to go away.

"Oh." Kyo stopped moving towards Haru. "Do you—want help practicing?"

"No!" Fighting, even practice fighting, was a really bad idea. Haru turned his face towards the door, avoiding Kyo's eyes.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? My problem—" Haru slammed his mouth shut and started for the doorway. He'd go for a run. Maybe get himself lost for awhile.

Kyo's hand closed around his wrist, and Haru reacted—mind blissfully full of blank anger—twisting and throwing a punch at Kyo's face, briefly illuminated by the sun, concern in his eyes before he saw Haru's fist.

Kyo ducked easily, retreating. "What the hell! You stupid cow!" The cat continued to back up as Haru stalked forward, anger marring his features.

"Don't touch me. Don't—how dare you—" Haru snarled.

"What the hell? Are you black?"

Haru shoved his hands into Kyo's shoulders, and Kyo stumbled back, nearly falling. A sick satisfaction rose in his stomach, that no matter what, he could still have this from the cat. Still have his anger and his violence. "Does it matter, kitty? I want you either way—"

He pressed Kyo into the wall with his body and smirked at the startled look Kyo was shooting him. The anger was still unpleasantly hot in his head, but Kyo felt deliciously reluctant against him, pinned onto the wall like his own personal toy. "Don't you want me, Kyo? You're the one who came looking for me."

Kyo stiffened, but didn't try to escape. "What are you talking—?"

Haru's tongue was in the cat's mouth, his lips demanding a reaction from Kyo's surprise-slack mouth. But instead of softening, Kyo's teeth tried to catch Haru's tongue.

The ox jerked his face back, still pressing his hips insistently against Kyo's. The cat was looking a little panicked, but he still wasn't trying to escape.

Haru's smirk grew ugly, his hands slid under the hem of Kyo's shirt, his thumbs pressing cruelly at the edge of Kyo's hipbones. "You're disgusting. You still want me—even when I'm like this—you're—"

"Get off me!" Kyo suddenly yelled, throwing his body against Haru's. A second's hesitance from the ox, and Kyo was nearly across the room. He turned to look back at Haru, panting, eyes dark.

Haru grinned nastily at the cat and licked his lips. Kyo jerked back, hands curling into fists and a second later, he was gone.

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Kyo was avoiding him. That much was clear. Haru hadn't seen the cat in nearly two days—the cat was obviously spending the night somewhere else (with Shishou, Haru suspected) and Haru couldn't remember what the fuck he had done—

He breathed in deeply. The woods around him were dark, damp, uncomfortable and he was lost.

There were flashes, surprisingly. He remembered pressing the cat up against a wall, feeling Kyo's body respond passively, instead of the usual aggression of their fights.

Sometimes, the disassociation he had to deal with really pissed him off. He'd never had to worry with Rin—she retreated as soon as even a hint of his black side appeared, and honestly, that side just hadn't like being around Rin.

The dojo appeared in front of him, and Haru thanked god that he had found it. Really, the things he did for the cat. The training room was empty—but the garden was not. Kyo was sitting by the pond, tracking the curious flashes of the Koi fish.

"They're not for eating, you know?"

Kyo glanced up at him silently and returned his gaze to the pond water without saying anything. The quicksilver flash of his eyes were so much brighter than the muted fish scales, and Haru desperately wished the cat would come up to him and kiss him. Fat chance of that, though, until they got this mess cleared out of their way.

"I think. I think I owe you an apology."

Kyo's mouth tightened. "Yeah."

"But I don't exactly remember what I did—did we fight?"

"Something like that." Kyo's tone was subdued.

"I…"

The cat's fingers trailed through the water, and the fish, curious, followed the ripples. Finally, Kyo looked at Haru, eyes tired, but warm. "I need you to tell me, you stupid cow. If you're angry—if you're too close to…"

Haru swallowed. Shrugged. He was still by the little wooden gate, his hands in his pockets, the stiff curve of his shoulders the only proud point of his posture.

"You need to trust that I can deal with your damn alter ego. I've been doing it since we were children—"

There was something utterly bitter in that—Haru could see the long stretch of years ahead of them, with the blanks spots dotting it all over until Kyo became too sick of it and left. "You shouldn't have to."

"I want you. Haven't we already discussed this? I want you when you're angry and when you're lewd and when you're stupid and lost. And I'm trusting you'll still want me—"

Haru had heard enough. Kyo's words were exactly what he had needed to hear, and he hadn't even realized. He pushed Kyo down and straddled him, gently angling the faces so that they could kiss closely. The grass smelt sweet and green near their faces, the pond lapped shallowly by their ears. "I'm glad you want me, because I want you. All the time, you damn cat."

He shifted back for a moment, breaking their contact, and Kyo stared up at him, confusion predominant across his features. "Are you white now?"

Haru shook his head and slowly covered the body beneath his. "Maybe. Maybe not." He wet his tongue against Kyo's cheek, dragged it leisurely down that long neck.

"Why are you so…calm, then?"

Haru laughed a little and nuzzled his face into the warm skin between neck and ear, enjoying Kyo's glad shiver, "Because this is so much better than fighting, isn't it? And no matter what side I am, I've always wanted your hands on me any way I can get it." Haru fitted his mouth back to Kyo's-delving his tongue into that wet heat, inviting the cat to explore his mouth.

Kyo turned his head to the side suddenly, panting, his lips wet. "We're outside-Shishou might-"

Haru shoved his hand up the cat's shirt, finding a nipple and drawing his fingers over it, watching Kyo's eyes flutter a little, "Don't worry about that," he whispered, "I bet Shishou is asleep...and you are too damn gorgeous to resist."

Kyo was blushing fiercely, but his hands drew Haru's face back to his. Haru shoved his hips against Kyo inelegantly, feeling the other boy's answering hardness. He slid his mouth to Kyo's neck, and Kyo gasped, arching.

"Can I touch you?" Haru slipped his fingers under the waistband of Kyo's jeans, teasing at the button. He messily kissed the other boy.

"Please." Kyo moaned. He was quick to reach between them, unbuttoning his own pants and pulling his jeans and underwear down to his thighs, where they restrained his movement somewhat, "Haru, please-"

Haru had his own pants undone quickly, and he frotted helplessly against Kyo's hip for a moment, sucking a bruise onto his delicate collarbone. He closed his hand around Kyo's dick, and the feel of it was both unfamiliar and familiar, brutally hot-Kyo groaned and bucked his hips, seeking more friction and Haru had to smile against the cat's heated cheek, darting his tongue out to lick Kyo's ear when it came within reach.

"Like that?" He asked, breath coming in short spurts, his hand moving slowly over Kyo's length, pressing his own insistent erection against Kyo's, gathering their cocks in hand and stroking-that was infinitely better, feeling the hot, sweaty grind against each other-Kyo turned his head, seeking Haru's mouth again, moaning, digging his nails into the ox's back, "Haru, Haru-fuck-"

Kyo was the first to spill, messy fluid slicking the way for Haru's orgasm, wringing out a surprised sound of pleasure from them both. They were both panting, their bodies sealed together, legs entwined and pants tangled around their knees. Haru dropped his forehead to Kyo's shoulder, feeling their skin rub through the thin layer of sweat they both sported.

Kyo stirred-looking down and touching their combined release. He wrinkled his nose, his cheeks still pink, "Gross." He whispered, voice rough. But he raised his other hand, guiding Haru's upwards by his hair, lazily kissing the other teen and brave enough now to immediately push his tongue past Haru's teeth.

"that was good," Kyo whispered, when they paused to breathe-

Haru playfully licked the cat's nose, "Who said we were finished?"


	18. Chapter 17

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Chapter 17

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"I'm taking you on a date." Haru repeated.

Kyo kept his glare ramped up, two bright eyes peering from under the pile of blankets.

Haru stifled the urge to laugh—"You haven't been outside for the past three days. And no matter how much I love hanging out with you, I'm going a little stir crazy." More than that, Haru really needed an excuse to stop touching the cat. Kyo was driving him insane, with his innocent teases and eager kisses. But the cat clearly wasn't ready to go much farther than a bit of groping, and Haru was fine with that.

Except for the fact that he if he didn't get outside, where there were more people and less cat-kissing, Haru was literally going to pounce on his very scrumptious looking boyfriend and recreate some very dirty moments between them, and frankly, his dick just couldn't take it.

Kyo shifted uneasily beneath his covers. "I'm tired."

"You—you've been sleeping for the past three days. Cat naps count, you know."

"Don't wanna."

So he was reverting back to arguments that had only worked when they were five. Lovely. "Kyo. I know…you don't want to experience—whatever it is. It's not like I want to see you collapse either! But you need to get out. Our break ends tomorrow. How are you going to deal with all our classmates if you can't deal with people in the shops or streets? You were fine walking to find me at the dojo…"

The ox had a point, and Kyo knew it. Reluctantly, he wiggled out from his rumpled pile. "Fine."

Hair tousled, cheeks a little pink from the heat, Kyo looked completely edible. Haru manfully resisted the urge to cross the few feet separating them and kiss the cat senseless. It would be so easy…"Get dressed. I'm not going to wait forever."

"Yeah. Yeah," grumbled the cat as he meandered his way to his closet, clearly not in any hurry. His shirt was summarily stripped off, and Haru swallowed heavily. Kyo's skin looked so damn soft—warm and bronzed and the ox tried swallowing again and blurted out, "I'll be waiting downstairs!" and shot out the door.

Shirt still in hand, Kyo couldn't help the clueless look he leveled after the fleeing ox.

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Kyo was staring at the bald man two tables over.

Haru's eyes followed, and his face tensed. He'd be insulted that the cat wasn't paying a single bit of attention to him (after he had successfully found them a nice little coffee-shop) but the cat's eyes looked a little too nervous to warrant any harsh words.

"Does he have one of those…shadow things?" Haru asked.

They had both ordered hot chocolate—Kyo took a sip of his, clearly stalling. "yes." He replied, shortly.

"Does everyone have one?" Haru asked.

"Sort of." The cat shifted uneasily. "Some are barely visible, they're so small. And others…" Kyo's eyes went back to the other coffee-shop patron, "are…well, let's just say I can't even see his face, not really."

"Hm. Just ignore it," Haru advised. "He's all the way over there: you're here with me…"

A small smile threatened at that, and Kyo relaxed. "Because you're such an interesting conversationalist."

"Hey. I can do interesting!..."

"Right."

The conversation wound down in a little awkward spiral. Haru sighed. Sometimes Kyo went a little self-conscious on him, but the ox honestly couldn't blame him. The past few years had been spent arguing-and then the last few days they had spent fucking and kissing and-well, the radical shift in their relationship often left them at a loss for words. Time to salvage the situation. "So. What do you want to do today?"

"You're the one that asked me out on a date…"

Haru smirked. "That's true…and I saw this flyer—I think I have the perfect place…"

Kyo's eyes went a little wide over the rim of his cup. "Um."

"Don't worry. You'll like it."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Kyo grumbled half-heartedly under his breath. Haru was busy trying to knock six glass bottles over (Kyo was almost positive they were glued to the table) and the cat felt a little useless standing next to him. Not to mention, claustrophobic. Children of all ages milled around in cotton-candy colored shirts and ribbon-collected hair. And the sweaty throngs of adults were all over, either harried parents or blushing couples—not that they were blushing. Nope, no matter how attractive Haru looked, Kyo was certainly not blushing.

Haru looked good, Kyo thought, under the bright yellow lights of the carnival. A little out of place, he had to admit, with his monochromatic coloring, but the jewelry around his neck somehow made him a little more approachable, more human. His eyes were narrowed—the competitive edge in them strongly reminiscent of the gaze Black Haru would level at Kyo during their fights—but a disarming grin lurked underneath that edge. Kyo shivered in the balmy evening air, remembering warm kisses under the quilts, quick ones after a shower, the comforting length of Haru pressed up behind him as he tried to sleep at night.

My boyfriend. Kyo thought. It was a typical date, really. Kyo wondered if other people saw them and just knew they were together. Haru usually dragged him along by the arm whenever he saw something exciting (like the dumb midget horse rides—that had been embarrassing, as they had been the only two above the age of seven allowed on the poor ponies) but other than a stolen kiss after that first bite of popcorn, (buttery and soft and salty, Kyo remembered) Haru had maintained his distance in public.

"Fuck you!" Haru yelled and grabbed Kyo by the arm, intent on dragging him away from the rigged game. The booth-owner looked a little alarmed, and Kyo nearly laughed. The ox looked angry, a heat to his cheeks and a dark furrow to his brow. "Rigged! I'm sure it was rigged!"

Kyo did laugh then, a rather loud chuckle erupting when Haru turned his glare back to Kyo. That firm bit of amusement still lingered under the frustration, so Kyo wasn't worried.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You're just—you're—" Kyo stumbled over his words, suddenly unsure. He wanted to tell Haru how attractive he looked in the whirling lights of the carnival, but his throat grew tight from habit. He'd worked hard to suppress his feelings for the cow, worked hard to be impenetrable to Haru's barbs.

Haru cocked an eyebrow at him, smiled slowly. "What?" He asked.

Kyo reached for him instead, finding that his hands naturally curled into Haru's two-toned hair, finding that it was easy to ignore the noise and the crowds and the occasional stare. He kissed Haru, quick, saying against his mouth, "I like you, damn cow."

Haru's hands returned Kyo's abrupt embrace. "I like you too—what brought this on?" He asked, easing back, but catching Kyo's hand at the last minute.

Kyo shrugged, his body animated. "Let's go find the Ferris wheel!"

Sudden resistance. "I am not going up on that-that deathtrap!"

Kyo grinned, "Oh, yes, you are! You made me ride those poor ponies—so you better come up with me on my favorite ride."

Haru looked ready to protest. Kyo tugged on the ox's hand again, and as if reminded of their status as a couple, Haru sighed and gave in. "Fine, fine." He muttered. "But if we get stuck up there, I'm holding you responsible for my early death."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You jinxed us."

"You're the one who wanted to go on this stupid fucking ride!"

"If you hadn't said anything—"

"How is the damn wheel breaking down right when we're at the top my fault?" Haru's eyes were wide.

Probably with fear, Kyo decided. "Calm down, dummy. We'll be down in no time."

They sat in silence for a moment or two. Kyo enjoyed the feeling of elevation, the cool breeze, the wide expanse of sky and distant spread of land around them. Haru, on the other hand, was nervously clutching the handlebar, his eyes metaphorically setting fire to the Ferris wheel's operator down in his little cubicle.

"Hey," voice a little softer. "We'll be down in no time." Kyo repeated.

"Yeah. I better not die up here, or I'm going to fucking kill you."

Kyo took his words with a grain of salt, watching the ox's tense fingers curl and clench on the metal bar. "You'd miss me too much."

Haru seemed to consider it. "I guess." A quick glance at Kyo's face. "I'd miss getting to do this, at least."

"Doing—" The whole cart jerked with the force of the cat's recoil, as Haru tackled the cat, pushing Kyo back against the side of the cart, and getting his leg over the cat's knee. Kyo instinctively grabbed for Haru, startled, but appreciative of the heat the cow generated. A sharp nip at his neck had him arching a little, sliding his palms down the back of Haru's jacket and up again, turning his face back to the ox's so they could catch their lips together. Jumpy adrenaline quickly turned sultry.

"Haru…" Kyo thought he should protest. They were at a kiddie-carnival, for heaven's sake. The people behind them (and on the ground, a little part of Kyo's mind offered) probably knew exactly what was going on in their seat.

"Shut up. You got me into this situation, it's your responsibility to take my mind off the fact—" a particularly hard bite against Kyo's shoulder made the cat groan, "that we're so far above the ground."

"I said before—" Kyo managed to get a hand back in Haru's hair to drag him up for a kiss, "it's your fault—you jinxed—"

"Don't care. Don't care." Haru said in quick succession, grinding his body against the cat's, trying to get a little leverage so that their hips could meet. "This is the perfect time—"

A loud mechanical whirr filled the air, and the ride jerked into life, nearly tumbling the two of them down into the foot space. Haru's arms were tight around the cat for an entirely different reason now, and Kyo endured the poor cow's terrified cursing the entire way down. He was glad, at least, that Haru's eyes were closed, because Kyo was sure his face was bright red. Not to mention, his pants were a little tighter than usual—and really, if that didn't go away before they got out, Kyo was never leaving the house with Haru again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You had fun, right?" Haru asked in the darkness of their room, a single arm thrown around the cat's midsection, but an unusual amount of space between them because the cat had piled on three quilts and Haru was burning hot.

"Yeah." Kyo squirmed a little. Shifting to tuck the sheets up under his chin. "I barely noticed—I didn't even pay attention to…my new curse."

"It's normal, you know?" Haru whispered. "And considering the fact Hatori can strip people of their memories—your's isn't even that scary."

"Feels scary." Kyo admitted. "It's like. Like I'm experiencing that…memory. From their view."

Haru gathered the cat into his arms, willing, even when he was over-heating, to physically remind the cat he wasn't as alone as his voice sounded. "Well. Nothing happened tonight, so you'll be fine tomorrow at school."

The other teen tensed, minutely. Haru only felt it because he was so close under the blankets. "About school…" Kyo trailed off.

"Hm?" Haru yawned. He knew the cat would spit out whatever was troubling him eventually.

"Are we going to…are we going to—how am I supposed to act towards you?"

Haru suppressed the urge to chuckle. "Well. I, for one, would like to eat lunch with you, so we can meet—"

Kyo interrupted. "No. I mean. Are we going to pretend—"

"—to be friends. I think not. I'd miss kissing you too much, Kyo." Now was a perfect time to demonstrate just how important kissing was, and Haru ignored the heat and sweat and pulled the cat under the quilts for a long show-and-tell.

"But." Came the muffled voice.

"We'll be discrete." Haru promised, placing open-mouthed kisses all over the cat's slick neck. "No one will figure it out."


	19. Chapter 18

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Chapter 18

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Kyo gritted his teeth. He could feel the heavy stares on the back of neck. His skin prickled. A soft whisper reached his ears, and he nearly snapped his pencil in half.

"—hear? Haru—"

How everyone in the school knew about them was certainly no mystery. Kyo had unsuspectingly left his classroom, intent on heading to his locker. The cow had caught him in the middle of the hall way, a polite hand on Kyo's elbow, and publicly invited the cat to lunch.

What was a mystery was how Haru had managed to turn a simple invitation into the lewdest proposition on the planet, according to some sources.

Kyo could feel his ears burning. Discrete. Kyo snorted. Yeah, right.

The cat looked to the left, leaning on his hand, and startled a little when his eyes were caught by Yuki's. The rat hastily looked back towards the teacher, but the faint embarrassment on his face revealed he knew his staring had been seen. Kyo fiddled with his pencil again. Why was the stupid rat staring at him?

This was the last class before lunch. The clock seemed to be moving unnaturally slow. Little echoes of gossip floated by Kyo's ears. How exactly was he supposed to get out of class and meet Haru outside without anyone…speculating? Should he try the age-old bathroom trick? Nah, he thought. There wasn't any proof that he was involved with Haru—and truly, if there wasn't Akito to worry about, Kyo wasn't sure he'd care—and for some reason. Well.

He actually sort of missed the damn cow.

Kyo sighed, and his entire face softened.

As if in response to the gentler emotion on Kyo's face, Yuki's face, paler that ever, tightened in something like anger.

Class finally ended, and Kyo, stalling, put his books and pencil away as slowly as possible. When only the teacher was left, the cat deemed it safe enough to venture out.

He'd only just passed the doorway when a hand clamped around his arm, above the elbow. The preternaturally strong grip gave Kyo a clue—and sure enough, when he looked, Yuki was glaring at him.

"Come on." He said and proceeded to drag the cat along the hallway.

A mostly deserted hallway, Kyo observed, thankful. "What the hell do you want, rat?" The rat never instigated their fights. And Kyo had enough on his plate to deal with, so he hadn't been trying his luck. Being this close to Yuki wasn't that strange—they got in each other's faces often enough, but the black, flitting shadow on Yuki's shoulder was definitely new. It was blowing dangerously close to Kyo, its large mass bubbling closer, and Kyo dragged his feet, leaning away. "Yuki, stop—"

"Be quiet." Yuki hissed, hauling the cat into the boy's bathroom. One of the underclassman was washing his hands, but one glance at the tense boys—both of them known for their fights—convinced him to flee the scene.

"What the hell is your problem?" Kyo demanded, trying, unsuccessfully, to wiggle out of the rat's implacable grip.

"You—and your rather obvious feelings for Hatsuharu."

Flustered, Kyo looked away. "What…what do you mean?" He hated the blush that was steadily warming his cheeks, hated that instead of decking the other teen he was trying to pull away. He couldn't chance his fist going straight into the menacing shadow hovering near Yuki's face. He didn't want to end up in anyone else's memories, especially not the rat's.

"Are you listening to me?" Yuki said and suddenly the anger in his voice was very apparent, and his fingers tightened to the point of pain.

Kyo yelped, twisted—

The bathroom door slammed open.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Haru demanded. His hair was sticking up on one side, his clothes looked a little awry, and he was panting like he had been running. His eyes settled on Kyo first, discovered Yuki's hand on Kyo's arm, and then investigated the tense set of Yuki's shoulders, the way the cat was leaning away.

Haru's voice was clipped. He was gripping the frame of the door. "Let him go."

Yuki's hand loosened, whether from surprise or fear, and Kyo jerked away from the rat.

"I think I'm going to try this one more time. What. The hell. Is going on in here?"

Fuck. Kyo thought. That layer of false civility, that level of calm, meant the ox was so angry both of his sides were ready to pummel someone. Black Haru surely had the forefront, at this point.

"Look, Haru—the stupid rat is the one that dragged me in here." The urge to grab Haru and pull him away from Yuki, from his anger, from the situation, tugged strongly at Kyo. Stupid rat, he grumbled internally, of all times to be irrational, he picks now. "He's angry for some reason."

"For a good reason," Yuki shot back at Kyo, "mooning over your new boyfriend in the middle of class! Are you deaf?" He looked at Haru then, "Stupid? Because let me tell you, we're not the only members of the zodiac here—and mark my words, someone is going to find out about this—idiocy—you two are engaging in."

The wood under Haru's fingers creaked, startlingly loud in the bathroom. "Idiocy?" He repeated. "Is that what you'd call it?"

"I can't think of any other term for it." Yuki retorted, unconsciously taking a step back.

"Haru—" Kyo started, but before he could even get the name out, the ox lunged across the tiled floor, shoving Yuki hard enough that the boy hit on the ceramic sinks with a dull thud.

For a moment, the tableau held.

And then Haru's hands were around Yuki's throat, the rat's head met the mirror with another painful noise, and Haru was growling into Yuki's face, teeth showing.

"You have no idea—you think I don't know? How much danger we'd be in, if he found out? Of all people—"

"Haru." Kyo's voice sounded tired. He had shoved his hands in his pockets for lack of better use. "He's right." His words rang with a sort of morbid intensity in the echoing bathroom.

Haru's entire body tensed. His eyes left Yuki's shocked face and met Kyo's eyes in the glare of the mirror.

"Look. You'll regret it when you realized you've beaten the shit out of Yuki."

Haru's teeth ground together, audibly, but he released the rat. He stepped away from Yuki. "It's not stupid, Yuki. Not idiotic." The anger seemed to be leeching away from his voice, "this is probably the best thing that's—the best part of my life right now."

His eyes were on Kyo now, dark with his recent anger. Kyo wanted to reply, wanted to say me too, but Haru's gaze staggered him, choked him. Mutely, he reached his hand out, as if in a parody of a stranger's handshake. But his face must have told more than his impersonal hand, with his fingers splayed so clumsily, with his palm open and bare, because Haru reached for him as well.

Haru twined his fingers in Kyo's fingers, and he pulled the cat away from Yuki, his fingers gentle, but his glance possessive.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You agreed with him." Haru said, his head in Kyo's lap, letting the repetitive touch against his hair soothe him.

Kyo and he sat under the shade, the sun glinting through at odd moments, casting leaf-shapes on their skin. The spot was secluded from the school—in fact, it was probably off school grounds. Occasionally, a few of the crinkled leaves would disengage from the branches, to fall in their hair or the ground. The remains of their lunch sat not far from them.

"You remember that?" Kyo asked.

Haru grumbled a little, "I was pretty calm by that point."

Kyo snorted, and his hands took to smoothing Haru's hair in the opposite direction it fell. It wasn't quite comfortable, but Haru endured for the sake of experiencing Kyo's newfound familiarity with touching him.

"Either way. You think Yuki is right—that we should hide like we're afraid."

Kyo's fingers trembled, "I am afraid." He whispered, like the admittance would cost less if it was softer, "I'm afraid of losing…this."

Haru's hands went up to cup the cat's cheeks, to draw his face down so he could look at his eyes, "Don't be. Not of losing me."

Haru twisted, holding himself up so he could kiss Kyo against the sleeping tree and forget the world outside the autumn leaves.

::::::::::::::::::::::

So they became one of those badly kept secrets amongst their peers. The old, 'Are they?' or 'Are they not?' got bandied about in the hallways a fair amount, but neither Kyo nor Haru let that stop them from meeting for lunch most days.

Kyo got his fair amount of teasing—and one heartfelt, oddly tearful blessing from a very embarrassed Tohru—from his friends, but somehow, it was easier to let the comments slide slick from his hide and just hurry away to find Haru somewhere in the hallways and laugh at the stupid and oftentimes outrageous rumors.

They went on dates. Kyo managed to waste a week trying to figure out Haru's motives, trying to understand the fierce, atypical planning Haru was doing in order to…entertain Kyo, though that wasn't exactly the word Kyo would use. Yuki scoffed about cows wooing cats, and Kyo blushed and swore and agreed to every single date no matter how crazy or stupid and Haru went around in a sort of manic state for the first month, eagerly planning their weekends and even kidnapping the cat from a few of his more boring classes so they could spend hours trying to find the way to whatever Haru had come up with.

Hesitantly, Kyo began to look forward to their 'dates'. It was nice, of course, to lounge around on the porch in the sun together, to practice their martial arts in the dojo, to do all the normal things that they had always known how to do. But, Kyo reflected, it was also nice to experience…dating. Honest-to-god, high school sweethearts dating.

Slow dates, in the parks, on the swing sets at two AM, eating ice-cream again as Haru tried to get Kyo to abandon his favorite flavor. A few dates as exciting as their Ferris wheel escapade—Haru convinced a friend to teach them how to 'eat fire' (Kyo singed most of his eyebrows off and Haru was lucky to escape with only minor burns) and another date where they very nearly fell into fifth degree water rapids.

There were other close calls too. Nearly running into Hatori after a particularly boring movie (the host of colorful, mouth-shaped bruises decorating Kyo's neck attested to the fact). Shigure barging into their room in the middle of the night for an opinion on his book. A few hasty lies, bedbugs in the futon, you know? took care of that situation, but Haru still distrusted the sly look the dog shot them from time to time. Kyo's door stayed locked at night after that, no matter how suspicious it made them look.

All in all, Kyo found himself in a state of—well, if he was honest, happiness. It had been a long time since he had felt so goddamn…safe.

He had never even thought he'd get something like this—something so good in his life that he actually woke up smiling some mornings, actually ignored the dark shadows lingering on people's shoulders, actually stopped, for once in his life, counting down the days until his graduation.

Who would have thought, Kyo mused, staring at Haru's blissfully unconscious face, drooling into the pillow, that the damn cow had been the secret answer to all his strangled, never-voiced wishes.

"Who would have thought?" Kyo whispered and woke his boyfriend with a kiss.


	20. Chapter 19

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Chapter 19

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They skipped their last period of the day. It was late March, and the day really should have been warm enough for just a sweater, but Kyo was bundled up like it was snowing. The cat had just recently gotten over a cold—nothing debilitating, just a little sniffle that had kept him out of school for a day or two—and was now hiding his pinkened nose in the scarf Haru had bought him for Christmas. Every time the cat donned the blue and brown scarf, Haru hoped the possessive tilt to his expression remained firmly invisible to the oftentimes clueless cat.

"I can hear you, you know?" Kyo said, just a little bit ahead of Haru. The cat was weighed down with several textbooks, not to mention a very full backpack.

"What?" Haru asked, innocently enough. One or two of the heavier textbooks sat in the cradle of Haru's arms. Poor cat had a lot of makeup work for school, and Haru was very carefully not snickering about it.

"Laughing. You know you're helping me with all of this crap, right?"

"But Kyo," Haru whined, still grinning because the cat wasn't looking, "I'm not even in your classes…"

"Then you'll sit around and be bored while I work my ass off."

"Aw, Kyo. Does my presence really mean that—"

A distinctly feminine voice cut through the midday silence. "So, it's true. A cow and a cat, who would have thought?"

Kyo froze, clearly at a loss, then backed up till his shoulder bumped Haru's. The cow felt his world narrowing, everything in him focusing on the innocuous figure in front of him. "Whatever you're imagining—"

"Spare me." She said. "If you think I've forgotten the way you look at a lover, you're mistaken."

Helplessly, Haru stepped forward. Emotions warred in him, anger, frustration, fear, "Rin." He said, the warning clear in his voice.

"I didn't believe it, when I heard Hatori and Shigure talking about it."

"Eavesdroppers rarely like what they hear." Haru said, voice decades calmer than his thoughts. Kyo was hovering behind his shoulder, and Haru could practically feel the doubts creeping into the cat's mind.

"Have you lost your mind?" Rin's face seemed terrible in the sunlight, devoid of anger or even pain. Her voice wavered, the only betrayal to her façade of control, "I thought…I thought you were waiting on me."

"Waiting?" Haru wanted to reach back and hold onto Kyo's hand, palm to palm, but common sense and the text books in his arms prevented him. "You're the one who told me to forget you." At this point, he wasn't sure if he wanted Kyo's touch to reassure the cat, or for a little strength against the old hurt of Rin's words.

"Was I so easily forgotten then?" And her voice sounded forlorn, childlike, and for a moment, Haru's chest ached with memory and regret.

"You told me I meant nothing to you."

"I was…I knew I couldn't watch Akito…hurt you, not for my sake."

Haru swallowed. It seemed everything in their lives had circled around Akito, his control extending to hold them back like hooks in their backs. "You should have trusted me, Rin."

"And I suppose the cat trusts you. I suppose he couldn't care less if Akito kills you—" Her eyes went over Haru's shoulder.

"Leave him out of this."

"No." Rin's voice was raw. "No, I won't let you risk yourself over that monster—that—"

Even without looking, Haru could feel Kyo's flinch; hear the harsh breath he drew at that particular barb.

Haru's polite demeanor suddenly abandoned him, how dare she, he thought. "Shut up."

"You'll regret it." She said, bitterly. "He's not worth it, Haru."

"If you say one more thing," Haru dropped the textbooks, his hands balling into fists. He doubted he'd ever strike her, but the urge to shut her up nearly overwhelmed him.

"You'll regret it." She repeated.

Neither of them tried to stop her when she turned and walked away.

:::::

"I have to go." Haru said.

Kyo's eyes squeezed tight. Haru wasn't even looking his way, so it was okay, for a moment, to react at the cow's words. "Where?" Kyo asked, something inside of him clamoring to ask why.

"To do damage control, damn it. She's going to tell Akito."

The fear that swamped him at that statement was completely overwhelming. Kyo thought of hospitals and confined spaces—of being trapped, for the rest of his life. "She might not."

"I'm the one who fucked her, Kyo, not you. Don't tell me you can read her mind." Haru spat, turning finally to face the cat.

Black Haru. Kyo thought, but the idea wasn't enough to excuse the way he wanted to run, to forget about all the things Rin had said and Haru hadn't exactly denied. "No—but she knows firsthand the consequences of telling Akito something like this."

The tense line of Haru's shoulders dropped, "You're right. But I…still need to talk to her."

Jealousy was not a new emotion, when it came to Haru. The cow had always been running after other people, Yuki, Rin. A little part of him wondered if Haru would return this time as well? "Okay." Kyo forced out.

"If I don't come back." Haru started.

"Don't do anything stupid, you damn cow."

"Define stupid." Haru said, his smirk a pale replica of his usual, and walked off, the road ringing with his footsteps.

Two days later, and Kyo hadn't seen hide or hair of the cow, and the cat was wondering if he shouldn't have gone with Haru.

At least to make sure the stupid cow didn't get lost, Kyo thought, a sick dread in his gut. At least to make sure—

Make sure he came back.

Four days later and Kyo tried the doctor's residence. Hatori picked up, as per usual, and summarily informed Kyo he hadn't heard from Haru in nearly a week. Kyo slammed the phone down hard enough to break it and stormed off to find Momaji, ignoring the way his heart beat, quicker than a rabbit in the face of its own death.

Six days later and Kyo had stopped sleeping. He had spent all of the last day searching for his damn cow, even conning Shigure into calling Akito. There hadn't been any drastic occurrences in the last few days, but no one had seen Haru anytime recently. Or Rin, for that matter.

Seven days after Haru left to find Rin, the ox found himself at the foot of Shigure's stairs, the three wooden ones that led up to the door. The house was oddly silent, the surrounding trees devoid of birds or squirrels, the wooden slats creaked underneath his boots.

A week later, and the first words Haru spoke, testing the air between the two boys, nearly brought Kyo to his knees.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Kyo."


	21. Chapter 20

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Chapter 20

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"Did you hear me?"

The cat retreated inside the door, his entire face unnaturally still.

Haru followed, his fingers slow to untie his boots, the clunk of them hitting the floor loud in the utter silence of the empty house. "Do you even care?"

Kyo numbly moved them to the kitchen. The kitchen looked as bright and cheery and clean as ever, and Kyo stood near the window, a glass sat near the tap. Kyo paused, back turned to him, holding the glass—his head tilted towards the sink, orange hair all Haru could see. He was so quiet.

"Because…I can't. I'm not strong enough to—Rin told me she loved me and three days later she was telling me she couldn't stand the sight of me from a hospital bed."

The glass was slowly filled. Water threatened to slide down the sides, and Kyo silently shut the tap off. His fingers were entirely white around the implacable glass.

"I have to—you have to want this too, Kyo. I feel like—I'm the only one that ever wants—that you can't bear to be human, sometimes."

Kyo didn't make a noise, but his shoulders twitched a little, and his unnaturally stiff pose broke as his hand trembled and fingers tightened around that damned glass. Haru realized, with a sick little twist in his chest, that there was no sound in the kitchen, except for his harsh breathing and harsher words.

"Kyo?"

There was the sound of a strangled, choked sob, the kind one made when you couldn't breathe. The kind you made after holding your breath so you wouldn't cry. The glass fell, shattering, and shards and water spread across the floor. The sound wasn't enough to cover the heave of Kyo's shoulders, the sobbed gasp, the wet noise of tears.

Haru was across the kitchen in a heartbeat, his socked feet crunching in the wet, broken glass. Kyo didn't resist when Haru pulled him close. "Don't cry—don't—why the hell do we end up like this? I can't be the only one to who believes we're worth it."

Kyo pulled away, turned his face to the floor as if his future was told in the patterns of broken glass. "I'm afraid. I'm still afraid to let you—."

Haru stayed where he was, knowing how much it must cost Kyo to make himself vulnerable. "Why are you afraid?"

"Because in the end, she's right, Haru. I am a monster."

It was possible the cat's deadened voice was breaking his chest apart. "Look at me," Haru commanded, "look at me."

His hand circled the cat's wrist, pressing so hard he could feel the tendons, the bones, pressing down on the exact same spot that those damn beads were.

"Do you think I'm going to run away? Seven days without me and you're back to being the 'monster' and nothing else? It's always this fucking monster card. I'm sick of it. Get over it. You're not a monster, you're not an animal. You're not even remotely cruel. This is just your last defense—that last horrible thing you throw in people's faces when they get too fucking close to you. An excuse to explain why people won't stay. Well, I've got news for you—we all have monsters inside of us, we're all a little ugly on the inside—"

Kyo was silent for a long time. "So what is it, then?" He asked, his voice hollow, eyes numb, "that makes me so unbearable? If it's not—if it's not the monster?"

Haru's hands framed the cat's face, his thumbs resting atop cheekbones, his lips so close they could kiss, eyes wide enough to see their eyelashes touch. "You are not unbearable, or unlovable, Kyo. Because I love you." He stroked his hands back so he could cradle Kyo's head, "and damn you for making me say it first, but I love you. I love you."

Kyo's eyes were so wide in the fading daylight, the first tell-tale gleams of moisture in his eyes edging into his eyelashes, and Haru ached with his possessiveness, with the need to own (to never lose, to never forget) Kyo's tears, the seep of their wet into the dry lashes, the way each lash would clump together, would darken. To see Kyo cry, to see Kyo smile, laugh, snarl, breathe—"You could say it back, you know?" Haru managed through his tight throat.

"Don't you know, already?" Kyo whispered. "I've been waiting to tell you I love you since you looked me in the eye when not even my mother would. And now I can't imagine living without you—so yeah, Haru, I love you, and you're an idiot if you think I can help it. You're an idiot for coming back."

"How could I stay away? I told you once I'd never wear the symbol of a cat—that it was yours alone—but I feel like you've branded me down to the core. Don't tell me how to love you."

"I won't." Kyo promised. "if you promise not to stop while I figure out how to love you."

"Another promise. Aren't you—" Haru said.

"I'm not afraid you'll break them anymore," Kyo whispered.

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Well. The end.

Author's Note: There is a lot I could say to explain the long, long hiatus this story took-but I'll boil it down to a few reasons. Honestly, my interest in Fruits Basket waned, especially as canon events more and more shifted towards a resolution I wasn't enjoying. And, as the muse departed-my love for this story went with it, and all I could see, as I looked at it, were the rampant mistakes and silliness that made up my writing style nearly four years ago. Also, I started college.

That being said, there was quite a bit more to the plot that I had in mind, two years ago. There were complications involving the second curse, Akito, and even the manifestation of Haru's second curse. But in the end, all I could eek out before I stopped writing was a resolution to our two boy's relationship.

For those who followed along so faithfully long ago, I hope this fanfiction gave you a little enjoyment and you weren't too disappointed that I never finished. These last few chapters are for the few who might still enjoy reading about a pair of boys I once adored. This little piece of writing, as old as it is to me, brings back many fond memories, especially because of the reviews I received.

So once, again, thank you to everyone who left a review, no matter how small or big, each one gave me more incentive to finish this, and all of them convinced me to post the last few chapters, which I hope offers a good enough ending.


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